This is a moment where everything falls into place and starts to make sense. An epiphany. I actually already had this important realization once in my life. But I didn’t write back then. Luckily, I will not have to make the mistake of forgetting again.
Psychological jargon is often confusing and quite analytical. The integration of mother-objects and whatnot. It may have some merit to have a scheme and a model, just like the Bohr model of the atom. Yet this model is way more helpful for empirists and people who want to sound smart. It’s also okay for psychologists who want to speculate about the causes. But to the narcissist himself, a list of symptoms is a useless joke. How will that help him understand his problem?
Continue reading “The truth behind narcissism and the wish for power”
I have lost my appetite. The reward of however tasty food does not justify the pain of opening my mouth. That’s okay. The pulsating and sometimes cutting sensation in my ear lets me sense my heart beats. They sound like distant waves on a beach; a pulsating hiss behind my teeth.
On a somewhat official scale from zero to 10, I define my pain as a 7 or 8. 7 is called “Very Intense”, while 8 is called “Utterly Horrible”. Fucking funny names, eh? They make me laugh. It’s a somewhat uncanny laugh, like that from a movie psychopath; my neighbors have been hearing that a lot lately since I got tired of crying.
Continue reading “Intolerable pain will make you a tolerable person”
Fucking butterflies in the stomach. What idiot invented that? How do you feel? Butterflies in my stomach. What kind of answer is that? And what if you feel it in your chest? Butterflies in my chest? To me, it does feel nothing like butterflies.
Continue reading “Mor – a new name for butterflies in the stomach”
Do you really want to have an exciting flirt with that hot girl?
Yeah, I know. Bad boys don’t flirt. They take what’s theirs. Apply it to any style you wish. Now shut up.
Do you really want to let her look into your eyes and see your soul for what it is and offer your burning desire to her as carelessly excited as if it was a replaceable bonbon? Do you want to let her go anytime if she doesn’t show interest?
Do you really want to lie on top of her and touch her, knowing that she keenly observes anything you do to her? Knowing that she might not like it?
Continue reading “Do you really want girls? And Life?”