A place for a

14.02.2017

A vision from a weird kind of hell …

You are in a big prom hall. You hear beautiful fairy tale songs from your childhood. Everyone seems in ecstasy and full of joy. Your grandparents are around you and you remember being with them while you were small. And the almost Christmaslike innocent kitsch music fills the room with childlike wonder.

Now a group of men walk in. They carry axes and swords. They start killing and ripping apart all your loved ones.

If this was a normal avantgarde movie, that in itself would be provocative enough. The music would now switch to some weird horror music.

But not in hell. No.

In hell, the innocent childlike music keeps playing, lulling you into feelings of comfort and joy. And at the same time you see the horror before your eyes … and since you are so nicely conditioned to be hypnotized by beautiful music and let it dictate your judgment and mood ….

Continue reading “A vision from a weird kind of hell …

19.01.2017

The cruelty of man and the inherent hypocrisy of “morals”

Man is not meek nor does man fear his own cruelty. But he fears that if he admitted his own cruelty, he would validate the cruelty of others, which would put him in danger.

Thus hiding his own cruelty he convinces others that he is meek, thus winning their trust and resources.

Many who pretend they are meek then so find together as a community.

Thus community is something born entirely out of selfish interests. Pretending to be meek is the best way – at least in our society that I know – to ensure safety of the self. Selfish satisfaction.

And when one stops pretending, he is shunned. Not because he is ‘worse’ than the others. But because someone else who doesn’t feel obliged to pretend is an inherent danger to the self.

Ironically, you can not ‘explain’ to that person why he should be pretending. So what you do is – you unleash your own beast on that non-pretender. And he ‘learns’ that the pretense is better. And on the surface you may say to that person ‘You have been bad and this is your punishment.’ But that’s only the surface. The real communication is through pain and that one doesn’t lie. It says: I am a beast and I will keep hurting you until you do as I wish you to do.

Unfortunately this contradiction between verbal and non-verbal communication leads to madness. Classical double bind. It creates a disconnect between the mind and the body. And the result is what we all know as ‘hypocrisy’. It is a man whose mind doesn’t understand his body and whose body doesn’t understand his mind.

I really never understood why people thought ‘altruism’ was not selfish…

10.09.2016

Coining a new red pill term: mommy-whipped

I actually have a pretty cool article in the pipeline – in my eyes, anyway – but I want to try and get it on ROK for fame, shits and giggles. It probably won’t work out, as my writing style is … different. But anyway, since you guys have been missing me so terribly, here is an absolute game changer (or a relative one?).

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the term: mommy-whipped.

To not make it too complicated and convoluted (are those the same?), I’ll just give you a checklist a la DSM aka pseudo-professional mental illness labeling:

You are mommy-whipped if:

  1. You will defend and justify any deed done by a woman towards her children with: She loves you.
  2. You think a mother can not be abusive towards her children emotionally, physically or sexually.
  3. You think a mother is more important to a boy than his father and/or can replace him by putting in hard work and sleepless nights and doing a hell of a job!.
  4. You put your mother or mothers in general above other women. Hint: Read stupid Bible quote below this list.
  5. You put the Mother Archetype above other Archetypes and see her as something like the Ultimate Deity and Creator or whatever.
  6. You view your mother or mothers in general as something pristine, unspoiled, holy.
  7. You think your mother is somehow different from other women, especially regarding typical red pill truths.
  8. You think that your mother has some mystical infathomable thing called a mother’s love to give you that you can never ever obtain anywhere else, especially not in yourself.
  9. You think you need your mother’s blessing to make personal life decisions and/or you feel the need to tell your mother about your life.
  10. You consider it wrong on principle to cut off contact to one’s mother.
  11. You firmly believe that you must honor your mother no matter what.
  12. You worship the mother as the giver of life. Hint: The zinc “spark of life” requires both egg and spermium.
  13. You do not dare to establish boundaries with your mother and let her talk to you about stuff that is none of her business, including psychological stuff, your relationships and other intimate matters.
  14. You think kids are indebted towards their mother for her so-called sacrifice. You feel you owe her your life.
  15. You think a mother always knows what’s best for you. Hint: A typical Western mother will eventually claim this.
  16. You worship the mother for having such a tough job and being strong etc and think she deserves tremendous respect. Hint: Life has equipped her with the ability to be a mother and other people have done great and difficult things as well.
  17. You put your mother’s needs and emotions before your own.
  18. You think you must take care of your mother when she gets old.
  19. You see mothers as some kind of unappreciated martyrs and do everything you can to help when she displays some ‘negative’ emotion like sadness.
  20. You let your mother chastise you for your expressions and talk differently to her than to other people. Aka feminine politeness.
  21. You like to use the phrase: But it’s your mother!
  22. You confuse guilt and shame with love and reason.
  23. You tolerate infantilizing behavior from your mother and accept her saying things like: To me, you will always be my little baby boy.
  24. You think that your mother’s sadness over you establishing boundaries and living your own life is a sign that you are doing something evil and hurtful.
  25. You blindly trust your mother’s judgment of your capabilities, dreams, aspirations, looks, personality.
  26. You think your mother has some kind of magical empathic connection to you that makes her feel whatever you feel and thus know what you feel. Hint: She is not telling you what you feel, but what to feel.
  27. You want to make your momma proud by being a so-called good man.

Continue reading “Coining a new red pill term: mommy-whipped

22.07.2016

Feminism’s formulaic misconception about “accomplished happiness”

Some career chick wrote me on Facebook that I was afraid of “accomplished women”. I thought about it and realized I wasn’t. Because “accomplished” is just a meaningless word. A fucking title. A status symbol. What does it even mean? Nothing, it is just a label they want to feel good about themselves.

When a feminist uses the word “accomplished”, she does not mean “I am living the life I want”. She means “I am so good, I am so great, I deserve your respect”.

Feminists think “I have to have a career to be happy. Having a family and spending time with them is demeaning.”

Do they seriously believe that men pursue so-called careers out of some misguided sense of pride?

Well, I guess some do. Narcissists probably do. Narcissists don’t feel they deserve unconditional love. Narcissists think they have to do something to be worthy of self-love. That they have to be better than others – whatever that means. They keep pursuing external validation like a drug.

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21.07.2016

How everybody is your rapist – and how not. Or: Beating the devil

There was this fat black bitch in a therapeutic living community I was residing at for some time. She had this tick … whenever she saw somebody in a uniform, she went haywire. She literally was getting into fights with cops and ticket inspectors. She knew all the local ticket inspectors by name. And the boss of those ticket inspectors – I think she called him Nicolini – he was like her nemesis, evil arch angel. She could ramble about what a basterd he was all day. It was like listening to some epic mythological saga.

Well, anyhow, one day it turned out that when she was a kid, her daddy was a police officer somewhere in Africa or something like that. Her house was under surveillance by lots of men with uniforms. And those men raped her best girl friend.

I found it a little silly back then, but the world being funny as it is, turns out I suffer from a similar affliction. I also developed kind of a strong hatred for police officers and people who think they have authority over me. At first, it was just unreflected rage. I did not know where it came from. But I’ve had time to introspect since and it turns out, when some cop barks at me, it triggers emotions in me of myself having been raped.

Of course, the cop is not the person who raped me. But the mind does not care. It is a defense mechanism. And if you think of it, it is a somewhat valid one.

When somebody traumatizes you, your mind creates this image of an “oppressor”. It may be some emotion that this person displayed while harming you. It may be something about his looks. Basically, the brain just goes haywire associating and trying to find a pattern. Why? To avoid it from happening again.

Continue reading “How everybody is your rapist – and how not. Or: Beating the devil

07.07.2016

Cigarettes & Memories

I started smoking in the psychiatry 7 months ago. I continued smoking because smoking brought up some kind of diffuse but strong fear in me. A few days back I dropped the fags, because it is starting to deteriorate my teeth.

In those days without a smoke, a strange sort of peace sneaked into my life, but I did not realize it until today, when I intuitively felt the necessity to smoke one more cigarette.

The moment I tasted the smoke in my mouth, the memories all came back. The intense fear and helplessness of being bound to a bed, disrespected, forced to take medicine, looked down upon by the stupid staff.

It was a strange moment. One moment I had peace in my mind. I had practically forgotten about the incident. And then, just by the taste of the cigarette, it all came back at once. It was as if I was suddenly another person. I think this is what they call triggering.

Not for the first time has such a dramatic and sudden change in my mood forced an insight upon me: This pain is not my identity.

Continue reading “Cigarettes & Memories

30.06.2016

Buddhistic bullshit

I do meditation and I often say that my beliefs are close to Buddhism. But the more I know about Buddhism, the less I resonate with it.

The thing that I find most idiotic is also somewhat present in Christianity. It is a particular concept of selflessness. Serve others and find enlightenment / deliverance.

So, basically, it says that you should not focus on your own karma, but extend kindness and compassion to others instead.

But the hypocrisy becomes very clear when you realize that you are only doing this in order to become enlightened yourself. You basically want something for yourself – enlightenment – and thus you search for a way to bribe the universe into providing it for you. If you extend compassion and kindness to someone in this fashion, it is done out of a selfish purpose and I would not be surprised if – on a metaphysical level – you are giving up responsibility for your own karma that way. You do something good and expect karma to be taken away in turn. I would not be surprised if this act actually transfers some of your own negative energy or karma to the person you are pretending to be helping, making the whole thing more of a black magic act than anything of real value.

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27.06.2016

The pseudo-intellectualism of contemporary discussions about homosexuality

Liberals usually claim that homosexuality is inborn. Religious people and manospherians usually claim that homosexuality is a mental illness. Both commit the same fallacy, an appeal to nature based on personal bias. Both assumptions, when declared doctrine, are potentially harmful.

If we declare that homosexuality is inborn, we take all hope away from those who truly suffer from emotional disturbances and developmental setbacks. They are left in a desperate situation and when trying to reconcile the conflicting voices in their heads, they feel forced to support the voice that urges them into homosexuality, inflicting strong pain on themselves from even thinking about it.

On the other hand, I think it is plausible to make room for the assumption that some people are truly homosexual at their core and suffer gravely from having to repress that. Telling them that homosexuality is a mental illness hurts them just as much as those who experience the dilemma from the other perspective.

To make a little analogy, there may be a man who truly enjoys photography and art. And there may be another man who truly enjoys hard work and carrying around big bricks at the building site. Now let’s assume that each of them thinks that his profession is the only true and natural thing to do for a real man. They get children. The artist’s kid would secretly love nothing more than to be a hard worker. The hard worker’s kid would love nothing more secretly than to be an artist. Let us assume that both shame their kids for not doing what they think is the right way. Both kids suffer for having to be something they do not truly wish to be, feeling guilty towards their parents for not truly wanting to be their narcissistic mirror image. And yet, the fact that the kids suffer from having to live a life that does not fit them does not mean that this life would not perfectly fit somebody else.

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25.06.2016

Anger hypnosis – why do politics enrage us so?

Nietzsche suggests in his book On the Genealogy of Morals a historical account of a nation that was harmonious and peaceful inside, while periodically going on crusades against other nations, committing the most heinous crimes; rape, murder, torture. And they enjoy it. He suggests that this nation has developed this mechanism as a way to vent the more animalistic tendencies that are suppressed inside its civilization.

Why do we get so angry about politics? Why do we see a flag or a famous monkey and are so hyponotized by it that we elevate it, in our minds, above all of those who oppose it? Why are we seemingly ready to kill people who disagree with us about political issues – and yet seldom dare to speak our own minds if they oppose that which is morally accepted?

I think the answer is simple.

Political issues and political leaders give us the permission to be angry. Something we are generally not allowed to be.

To be angry and violent, those are qualities that are looked down upon in society. To use force and power to get your own way, that is perhaps the greatest crime of all. Beware the selfish man. Serve the others, always be compassionate and so on. And yet, when our personally chosen leaders talk about the enemies of their values, we become feral, with foam at our mouths, ready to do almost anything to silence them. Very peculiar.

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23.06.2016

The devilish male co-dependent double bind, or, anatomy of a cuck

A double bind, as I see it, is a situation where one is confronted with two conflicting desires, effectively rendering the person helpless and making a solution of the problem impossible. It is the scenario of being between a rock and a hard place. Having to evade an approaching train by jumping down from a bridge.

One of the meanest double binds I have experienced and lived with most of my life is something I would say is typical for co-dependent men, especially when it comes to dating, or, to be more precise, living out the sexual drive. But it does not only apply to fucking girls. It also applies to situations of open confrontation and conflict.

The double bind goes something like this:

  1. You have to be liked, wanted, desired and respected.
  2. To be liked, wanted, desired or respected, you have to be confident.
  3. To be confident means to not be dependent on being liked, wanted, desired or respected.

Now, note that I am not talking about objective truths. I am talking about deep, ingrained beliefs and compulsions.

Continue reading “The devilish male co-dependent double bind, or, anatomy of a cuck