A place for a

14.05.2017

I wish I could feel my pain

When you just want to cry and hope let go one day, but your nervous system, even after all those years, is still on high alert, and you can’t even start to allow yourself to feel … and you realize you are lightyears away from healing … and too far away from it to even allow yourself to feel the devastation about how far away from it you are.

And you see life pass you by, seeing all the things you could have, could enjoy, could love. And you see that you cannot stop time. That you cannot take a time out until you’re fixed and then jump right back in. That you are forced to watch as life passes you by, and forced to listen to people telling you “well why don’t you go participate”, but you know that even if you did force yourself to participate, you would feel nothing. It would be as if a deaf person listened to Procol Harum [insert any other music that snobs think is great].

And not only do you see life pass you by. You sit on a lifetime of lost joy and pain that you cannot process. And it only keeps stacking up and getting worse. To the point that you do not even dare to admit that joy exists anymore, because it would drive you insane.

And just as you sit there and contemplate these things and feel the ever so slight hint of acceptance creeping into the moment, the inner watchdog shouts out loud and throws you back into unconsciousness, non-existence, into your nervous system’s routine of suppressing you and pretending you don’t exist.

And then you appear careless and aloof. As if nothing fazes you. But it’s not you who appears so, then. It’s that nervous system. Your nervous system is aloof and careless. Because the nervous system has learned that it mustn’t be anything more than that. So everything that is more than that, the nervous system denies.

And here the nervous system concludes the post with a cruel “Fuck life”, with another involuntary rejection of all that is desired, while the half-dead, half-alive self that mustn’t exist, doesn’t exist, can’t exist, silently weeps for half a second in the background, before it gets shut down and forgotten by the nervous system – like so many times before.

27.03.2017

Why do most people believe women’s lies?

If we assume women naturally pretend to be victims even when they aren’t to get what they want …

… we must also assume that people notice this every now and then …

… which results in women then not getting help when they actually need it …

… which becomes a “valid” complaint of theirs and furthers their victimhood …

… so they have to exaggerate and perfect their displays of innocence and victimhood further and further to still be convincing.

So in a way … them being manipulators is a slippery slope. They can’t stop manipulating because then they would not get anything at all. So they have to instead rise to the top of the manipulation-foodchain.

Continue reading “Why do most people believe women’s lies?

25.02.2017

My “philosophical” explanation of why religion and other oppressive belief systems are successful

Maybe the reason that religion works is this:

It is philosophically impossible to disprove something just because it has never been observed.

Of course, there is no reason to believe it either.

But then, our human nature seems strongly influenced by fear.

That is, even when there is no real reason to really believe in the existence of God, evolution has “programmed” us so that the mere possibility of the existence of a threat (hell) motivates us to avoid it, even if we may err on the side of too much safety.

Continue reading “My “philosophical” explanation of why religion and other oppressive belief systems are successful

23.02.2017

Feminism and gaming: Far Cry 3 writer says the player’s character should have been castrated

Spoiler warning. Don’t read if you don’t want to read about Far Cry 3’s ending.

I remember playing Far Cry 3 and wondering why the fuck I have to be playing hero for some stupid indigenous tribe led by some stupid bitch whom I could not care less about other than that she was kind ahot.

I also remember wondering why I, the hapless and untrained American tourist, am chosen over literally every other male in the game for this task.

Either way, the whole story was kinda weird and the bossfight you actually look forward to is even weirder and rather disappointing.

In the end of the game, you are encouraged to make a choice:

  1. Kill your friends and stay with the stupid but hot bitch who proclaims her love for you.
  2. Save your friends and kill the bitch.

If you choose the first option, the bitch will fuck and then kill you.

Turns out, Far Cry 3 writer Jeffrey Yohalem wanted to make a feminist statement with this, to mock the “princess saving complex”. To punish the man for his “misogyny”, he suggests he actually should have been castrated. Here’s the excerpt from the linked article (Spoilers!):

In one ending, Jason chooses to live out his days with Citra, where he – being the ultimate badass that he is – will continue to protect the island. Only Citra has other plans and decides to murder the oblivious bloke instead.

As it turns out, Citra never really needed to be saved and the whole thing is a commentary on the princess rescuing complex that permeates the medium. “Jason conjures up this whole idea that Citra needs saving and he’s gonna save her, when in reality it was all a ritual she created to find a sperm donor, and she kills him,” Yohalem explained.

“Sex, violence, and the player is killed. Here are the things that satisfy our animal side as men, but they’re subverted because it’s a female doing it.” Yohalem likened the ending to Princess Peach stabbing Mario. “Now that I’m thinking about it, that final scene should have been Citra castrating Jason. Seriously, that’s the point! It is like, ‘You win, motherf*****!’ It’s totally like, ‘F*** you, you misogynist idiot!’”

For reference, here is the original article that this article quotes from on archive.org. Apparently it has been deleted since, but you can find this old version of it, so it’s all cool.

Continue reading “Feminism and gaming: Far Cry 3 writer says the player’s character should have been castrated

20.02.2017

Arguments are power plays

When somebody is in competition to another, it is not so much whether he is actually better that counts.

It is whether the voices that most people listen to judge his performance as better.

The “critics’ consensus”. The consensus of the voices that most people think are reasonable and informed. Whatever that means, right?

When you trust a source that says “Trump totally owned Hillary, that bitch”, then that is the truth.

When you trust a source that says “Hillary is the rightful winner, Trump only tricked himself into winning”, then that is the truth.

But it’s much more apparent when there is no actual competition rules, like in a presidency.

In a debate.

Take a public debate. Most people afterwards will gravitate towards sources that proclaim that their preferred debater “won” or “totally burned” the other one.

In a debate there is no objective winner. What counts is not so much whether someone has actually won, but whether you can convince people that some particular part of the debate marked a participant’s victory.

And suddenly, after the critic says it, “it becomes obvious”. Well, why wasn’t it obvious before the critic or “expert” said it?

Continue reading “Arguments are power plays

23.12.2016

We don’t live in a rape culture – we live in something far worse (?)

Some people say we live in a “rape culture”

Know what we really live in? A SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

Modern people get high on shocks in the SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

People like to get shocked by what X or Z did or how that person in video Y ACTUALLY DARED to do M and how NOBODY DID ANYTHING about J and how S is so fucking L and how TERRIBLE U was and how OMG THEY CAN’T BELIEVE what happened to K and they like to BE LITERALLY SHAKING FROM THE EVENTS IN G

This is why we live in a SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

When we see something with multiple possible explanations we automatically assume the most shocking and terrible one

Why? Because we live in a SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

We like the high of getting shocked and we like the anger rage indignation sadness moral superiority righteousness devastation and desire for revenge we can share and wallow in with our fellow “citizens”

And who profits in the end? The ones who promise us to stop all that evil evil!

Which is ironic because we dont really want the evil evil to stop – we are much too addicted to being shocked – if there was nothing to be shocked about wed rather invent something to be shocked about than to not be shocked

That’s because we live in a SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

Continue reading “We don’t live in a rape culture – we live in something far worse (?)

02.12.2016

How the need for validation can hijack our passions

When we first had Latin at school, 7th grade or so, I absolutely loved it. I ate that shit up. All others were like Meh, but I devoured it. Latin homework was always the thing I looked forward to doing. I learned all the vocabulary and delved into the grammar. The subject was utterly fascinating to me.

Predictably, I got very good grades. I was by far the best student in Latin. I was so good that when we had a translation exam, I wrote two different, ehm, let’s call them interpretations and passed one around secretly for the others to copy, which led to a funny situation once or twice, because the interpretations I passed around were always my second choices and not the ideal translations.

Now, here’s a short overview over the grade system in Germany. We have grades ranging from 1 to 6, 1 being the best. They are titled like this:

  1. Very Good
  2. Good
  3. Satisfactory
  4. Sufficient
  5. Lacking
  6. Insufficient

You usually need at least a 4 on average to pass the school year. In Latin, I always had a stellar 1.

Now, I was generally a good student and by the end of that year, I was proposed to change to a different school that would be more challenging.

I accepted.

Continue reading “How the need for validation can hijack our passions

28.10.2016

Women complain about the male ego, but they are the reason it exists

The male ego.

Why do men have greater egos?

Because men are expected to shut up about their pain. When they open up about such things, the typical response is “suck it up crybaby”.

And I guess that’s all cool and shit. But don’t go about complaining men have big egos when they learn from small on to hide their feelings as if they were some dirty secrets.

Men have big egos because that’s what is expected of them. And not just because of patriarchy. At least as big – if not bigger – a component are women who expect men to be strong and impenetrable and take care of them while sacrificing their own needs. They keep throwing shit tests at men who display weakness, and using men to their own advantage when they sense they can do this. Thanks to their ability to “empathize”.

In fact, I dare say every woman even reading this post will feel a repulsion to even such a limited amount of openness and “weakness”. Makes sense, as she is evolved to crave for a protector and shit, right.

But think of it … when even a post like this – or a real life equivalent – can repulse a woman from considering a man attractive or lovable – saying this as a matter of fact, not to cry for sympathy -, or use it as cannon fodder for her manipulations …

Well then don’t fucking complain about the male ego, because that’s basically what you’re asking for.

Matter of fact, I think women dislike the male ego precisely because it makes the man wisely close up towards women about his emotional world. Women crave to know stuff about people so that they can use it against them … so they naturally want men to let their guards down. It gives them power.

So … let’s celebrate the male ego. It is a fine protection against the harpies. And as for being open and honest: That’s what locker room talk is there for.

10.09.2016

Coining a new red pill term: mommy-whipped

I actually have a pretty cool article in the pipeline – in my eyes, anyway – but I want to try and get it on ROK for fame, shits and giggles. It probably won’t work out, as my writing style is … different. But anyway, since you guys have been missing me so terribly, here is an absolute game changer (or a relative one?).

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the term: mommy-whipped.

To not make it too complicated and convoluted (are those the same?), I’ll just give you a checklist a la DSM aka pseudo-professional mental illness labeling:

You are mommy-whipped if:

  1. You will defend and justify any deed done by a woman towards her children with: She loves you.
  2. You think a mother can not be abusive towards her children emotionally, physically or sexually.
  3. You think a mother is more important to a boy than his father and/or can replace him by putting in hard work and sleepless nights and doing a hell of a job!.
  4. You put your mother or mothers in general above other women. Hint: Read stupid Bible quote below this list.
  5. You put the Mother Archetype above other Archetypes and see her as something like the Ultimate Deity and Creator or whatever.
  6. You view your mother or mothers in general as something pristine, unspoiled, holy.
  7. You think your mother is somehow different from other women, especially regarding typical red pill truths.
  8. You think that your mother has some mystical infathomable thing called a mother’s love to give you that you can never ever obtain anywhere else, especially not in yourself.
  9. You think you need your mother’s blessing to make personal life decisions and/or you feel the need to tell your mother about your life.
  10. You consider it wrong on principle to cut off contact to one’s mother.
  11. You firmly believe that you must honor your mother no matter what.
  12. You worship the mother as the giver of life. Hint: The zinc “spark of life” requires both egg and spermium.
  13. You do not dare to establish boundaries with your mother and let her talk to you about stuff that is none of her business, including psychological stuff, your relationships and other intimate matters.
  14. You think kids are indebted towards their mother for her so-called sacrifice. You feel you owe her your life.
  15. You think a mother always knows what’s best for you. Hint: A typical Western mother will eventually claim this.
  16. You worship the mother for having such a tough job and being strong etc and think she deserves tremendous respect. Hint: Life has equipped her with the ability to be a mother and other people have done great and difficult things as well.
  17. You put your mother’s needs and emotions before your own.
  18. You think you must take care of your mother when she gets old.
  19. You see mothers as some kind of unappreciated martyrs and do everything you can to help when she displays some ‘negative’ emotion like sadness.
  20. You let your mother chastise you for your expressions and talk differently to her than to other people. Aka feminine politeness.
  21. You like to use the phrase: But it’s your mother!
  22. You confuse guilt and shame with love and reason.
  23. You tolerate infantilizing behavior from your mother and accept her saying things like: To me, you will always be my little baby boy.
  24. You think that your mother’s sadness over you establishing boundaries and living your own life is a sign that you are doing something evil and hurtful.
  25. You blindly trust your mother’s judgment of your capabilities, dreams, aspirations, looks, personality.
  26. You think your mother has some kind of magical empathic connection to you that makes her feel whatever you feel and thus know what you feel. Hint: She is not telling you what you feel, but what to feel.
  27. You want to make your momma proud by being a so-called good man.

Continue reading “Coining a new red pill term: mommy-whipped

23.07.2016

I went to look for the Munich shooter

To spoil the fun in advance, I did not find the shooter, so if you want to read a heroic story, don’t bother reading. This is more of an intelligent rant about stupid sheeple and an infantilizing and incompetent government.

I would not even have noticed anything about the shooter if someone had not asked me about it. It made me curious and I took my bike and drove to the shooting site.

Weird thing is, despite having been there, I had difficulty finding the place. I was almost under the impression that the universe was trying to keep me away from it. Like glitches in the Matrix, I came to all kinds of strange places and a sense of surreality gripped me, surely fueled by the fear I felt. The fear which was the reason why I wanted to go there. That morbid curiosity of mine.

As I came within two kilometers of the place or so, dozens of police cars and vans, special units in black cars and a handful of ambulances drove by with sirens.

I had to ask for the way a few times. Man, those fucking sheep. I would ask them for direction and they would usually tell me reluctantly, pointing out that there were closed down streets by the police. One guy condescendingly called me crazy after I freely admitted that I was curious what was going on. Fuckin cowardly snob. One guy, some type of park guard, even deliberately pointed me in the wrong direction after mustering me. Aside from knowing it was the wrong direction, I could see in his face that he was lying.

Gawd, how I hate people who are assholes out of some bullshit good intent. The most despicable type of arrogance of all.

Continue reading “I went to look for the Munich shooter