A place for a

12.07.2016

Everybody wants to be a hero

Everybody sits around, hoping to get noticed. Sitting on a park bench, poor me, thinks everybody, if I suffer enough, somebody will care. If I suffer enough, somebody will see what a hero I am, with the world on my shoulders, thinks everybody.

Everybody wants to be the star in a movie where nobody else is a star, walking from scene to scene, being adored and worshipped. Everybody wants to be important, while everybody else is unimportant. Everybody wants to elevate himself from the masses, because the masses are just stupid sheep. I must be better than that, thinks everybody. I can not just be dust in the wind, thinks everybody.

I gotta save the world, thinks everybody. Everybody wants to be a policeman, a good man. Everybody wants others to look at him and say that’s a real man. Everybody wants to be stronger, freer, independenter, superior, smarter, morally above everybody who is not everybody.

Continue reading “Everybody wants to be a hero

10.07.2016

Black lives matter – to whom?

When you assert that something matters, you are expressing a value. But a value does not exist as an objective truth in a vacuum. Rather, a value is something that is held by a person capable of judging.

You can not talk about what matters without talking about the individuals that it matters to.

When you tell me that black lives matter, then I must ask: To whom?

To be realistic, I would expect this to be followed by the loaded question: So you think black lives do not matter?

And I would say: Not to me, no.

And I would expect to be guilt-tripped and shamed a little, back and forth, blah blah yada.

But seriously, why should I – me as an individual – care about black lives? What does that even mean?

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30.06.2016

Buddhistic bullshit

I do meditation and I often say that my beliefs are close to Buddhism. But the more I know about Buddhism, the less I resonate with it.

The thing that I find most idiotic is also somewhat present in Christianity. It is a particular concept of selflessness. Serve others and find enlightenment / deliverance.

So, basically, it says that you should not focus on your own karma, but extend kindness and compassion to others instead.

But the hypocrisy becomes very clear when you realize that you are only doing this in order to become enlightened yourself. You basically want something for yourself – enlightenment – and thus you search for a way to bribe the universe into providing it for you. If you extend compassion and kindness to someone in this fashion, it is done out of a selfish purpose and I would not be surprised if – on a metaphysical level – you are giving up responsibility for your own karma that way. You do something good and expect karma to be taken away in turn. I would not be surprised if this act actually transfers some of your own negative energy or karma to the person you are pretending to be helping, making the whole thing more of a black magic act than anything of real value.

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18.06.2016

Let Reinhold Hanning go free, you bloody do-gooders

BBC reports that former Auschwitz guard Reinhold Hanning was sentenced to five years in prison. The man is 94 years old. He did not actually kill anybody. He just did nothing to help and, well, he was there.

So burn him, for fucks sake, if it brings you pleasure. What do I care. Who am I to judge you for judging. But let me ask you if you had sacrificed your life in the vain attempt to help all those people. What is your answer? Probably something like: Well, I want to think I would have.

But there is something else that I find interesting about the article. It is a form of rhetorical manipulation that I think is very common and also very moronic.

As Mr. Hanning sits in court, confronting some super-duper victims, he is described as follows in BBC’s article:

Observers said Hanning, in a wheelchair, remained silent and emotionless for much of the trial, avoiding eye contact with anyone in the courtroom.

While one of the super-duper victims is described as follows:

Mr Glied, a dignified man with thick white hair and a ready smile, now lives in Canada. He was accompanied today by his daughter and granddaughter.

Side note: Glied, in German, means member. When used in slang, it usually means dick.

Continue reading “Let Reinhold Hanning go free, you bloody do-gooders

12.06.2016

Anger

Anger. Anger so strong it seems to tear your muscles. Anger so strong it makes you want to throw up. Anger so strong it makes you feel dead. Anger fueled by shame, hatred, fear and time. Anger you can not contain, anger that takes you over and makes you its slave. Anger that makes you think of murder when you see beauty. Anger that burns, anger that freezes. Anger that isolates you, anger that makes you enjoy misery. Anger that violates your senses, anger that radiates, anger that consumes love and spits it out in disgust. Anger without trust. Anger unspoken of, anger not allowed to exist. Anger braking joy, anger breaking toys. Anger that destroys gods. Anger that belongs to a god. Anger in the shadows, anger burning meadows. Anger that does not forgive, anger that is unforgiven. Anger that attacks itself, anger yearning for hell. Anger seeking justice, seeking cause. Anger that is lost. Anger never born, anger full of scorn. Anger spreading terror, anger that is an error.

Anger that is a stranger. Anger that is a friend.

Beloved anger, forever mine, I am forever thine. Goodbye.

14.02.2016

School grades do not prepare you for life

Proponents of grades often argue that they prepare you for real life where your efforts are evaluated based on merit. This is ridiculously wrong. The way your efforts are evaluated in real life is practically the direct opposite of how they are evaluated at school.

At school, you have an established authority. This person represents the standard and individual taste against which your efforts will be evaluated. Usually, this person is not even free in that. Rather, that person in itself is a representant of established globalized norms and standards.

A whole country learns the same things by the same standards and everybody’s efforts are evaluated against the codified rules of this standard.

This is the polar opposite of reality, where following the rules is the sure fire way to get absolutely nowhere.

I mean, sure, you always get judged. But in real life, people judge you by whether you fulfill some need of theirs. And people’s needs are diverse. And I promise you that no person has the deep-seated emotional need of a grade A from the federal government. Unless this person is an office shredder.

And since nobody really has a need for a piece of paper that says that you are smart, there is no need to focus your efforts on acquiring the skills necessary to get such a paper.

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28.01.2016

Two cool rock songs against the stupid system

Here’s two songs against the system. Yeah, I know: What the hell is the system? Who cares. There may be no absolute freedom in the real world, but there is still the notion of wanting it.

Absurdists do the same, right? You can not have real purpose, but you can not give up wanting it.

So why not indulge a little? Here you go.

Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back by Meat Loaf

I Want Out by Helloween

13.01.2016

Things the modern man feels ashamed of or guilty for in himself

Sweat, smell, body odor, genitals, ass, asshole, shit, penis, piss, cum, sexual attraction, love, smile, authority, dominance, masculinity, submissiveness, weakness, needs, kindness, tolerance, intolerance, deciciveness, spirituality, intuition, gayness, abnormal behavior, abnormal movements, abnormal voice or intonation, personality, being himself, wanting to take a woman, rape, murder, bloodlust, aggression, conflict, contempt, disgust, anger, rage, sadness, disappointment, grief, crying, complaining, being a victim, getting abused, being wrong, disagreement, doubt, disobedience, laziness, unreliability, inconsistency, immorality, sins, guilt, shame, tears, pouting, feeling insulted, feeling, emotions, hatred, being dumb, being unskilled, being worse than another, losing, winning, being better than another, pride, defeat, victory, opinion, protest, rebellion, independence, solitude, loneliness, friendlessness, offensive personality, bluntness, curiosity, questioning, insisting, being difficult, being docile, being disrespected, being respected, being loved, not being loved, rejection, rejecting others, caring, feminine side, masculine side, evil, greatness, humility, patheticness, irrationality, extreme emotions, competitiveness, challenging personality, original thought, rudeness, embarassing himself, discomfort, comfort, weirdness, awkward situations, not being smooth, talent, impoliteness, mental problems, health problems, financial problems, problems, arrogance, hubris, lack of approval, disappointing others, failing expectations, uncertainty, lack of confidence, confidence, existence, body, violence, strength, power, wish for power, wisdom, dirty thoughts, fetishes, selfishness, self.

So. What remains of the modern man? What is he proud to be – if he can be proud? Ah.

Working hard, serving others, pleasing his woman, being a hero, selflessness, niceness, obedience, dutifulness, consuming food and beverages, getting drunk, discipline, being a good man, having women, having high status, being respectable, indifference, rationality, suppressed emotions, doing the right thing, serving his fatherland, going to war, dying, being a martyr, being able to tolerate abuse, not insisting on getting his way, not being difficult, fulfilling expectations, making others proud, loving others like the self, worshipping Jesus, hating his job, finding life miserable, waiting for the coffee break, hating his job, politeness, social skills, drinking beer, eating hamburgers.

Well. Feel free to add whatever I missed.

05.01.2016

The PUA bird

Welcome to our story little birdie Jack,
his father and his uncle and his grandpa’s dead.
Welcome him in our midst, he knows not he’s alone;
he doesn’t want to know it, he prefers his broken home.

If you’d ask him, he’d remember that one day
when he saw a pretty female fly along his way.
Urges yet unknown befell that bird of paradise;
a power in his bottom made him jerk into the sky.

Vainly he pursued the tail of that lovely hen,
to stop the pain he felt incredulously from that perfect ten.
His feathers and his muscles seemed possessed by foreign force,
scary and yet prideful was his flight along his course.

Continue reading “The PUA bird

27.12.2015

The black hole I come from

When all was dark and wet, I already knew I was not welcome. Then I came out, somebody held me and that black devil was waiting to hold me in her hands, the devil I had come out of. I protested and screamed in terror, but every baby screams. The black devil pulsated in a cloud of fluttering malice as it took me in her arms and filled my heart with ice. Had I had any hair, it would have stood up all over my body. I had to suck on her teat of sick skin, revulsed as I was. Had to swallow her toxic milk full of madness while all my senses protested; it was like drinking oil from the earth, more nourishing but less appetizing. I imagined myself as a spectator.

In this way I was introduced to the pretense of love.