I am in a boat with soldiers. I am one, too. We hear blasts. Blam, blam, blam. We pray to god. Blah, blah, blah. I am in the first row, the front gate opens. A big fat round of some calibre shoots off my left leg. Pang.
Something explodes. Boom. I fly through the air.
I land in the sand and look around. I can not move too well and look down. My lower body is gone. Hmm, interesting problem. I start to analyze the situation. How can we fix this?
Another soldier stands before me, pale like the sand. Whoa! He wonders what to do and tries to comfort me. Boo-hoo. I shout at him: Hey, idiot! A man does not whine! A man finds solutions! Now help me collect those parts of my body!
He is confused. What a moron. I start looking around myself. Ah, there is my dick part of the body. I shout at the guy: Hey man, there are my balls. Come fetch them for me, will ya?
The guy looks at my genitals two meters away and pukes right into my open intestines. Barf! I am annoyed. These youths today simply have no grit.
But a true McCattle does not just give up on his fatherland due to some inconvenience. I turn around onto my stomach and rob a little with my arms. Not as easy as it sounds and I quickly lose energy. Very interesting situation. Very interesting problem. Little time. I like challenges.
I decide to hide behind some metal stuff for now. I turn around now to face the sea and the landing boats.
Curious. The sky has turned dark. Weird black ghost-like nebulae float around. Whoo-hoo. The remaining soldiers grow wings and fly away.
What the fuck? What is this childish theatre? We are at war, you fucking faggots! The enemy is right there! Stop bullshitting around! The words do not leave my mouth, I can no longer breathe. Huh. Alright, I will have to deal with it.
My vision becomes cloudy. Before my eyes, my wife appears. She says she loves me.
Fucking damn, look at me! My dick is not attached right now! I can not fuck you! Are you blind? I need to take care of this battle now, leave me alone!
Fucking irrational cunt.
Why is the whole world going crazy around me? We have a fucking war to win.
My vision fades. Okay, alright, I get it. I will get a little sleep and fight on later. Yawn.
But only for a minute. God hates faggots. Yuck.