A place for a

10.11.2015

Stoic idiot

Ten ways to pass a shit test. Agree and amplify. Smile and approve of her.

Right. Because if you get angry, you lose your frame. If you defend yourself, you already know she is right. If you fear something, you are already beaten. Blah blah.

If you show anger, you reveal pain. And a real man does not feel pain. No, especially not from a woman.

You think you are being condescending, but in reality you are just letting your enemies wreak havoc to your soul while pretending that everything is okay. You are inviting and rewarding disrespect.

Such, since it is emotionally incorrect for a man to feel pain, you rather pretend to not feel pain and take all her abuse in. To prove that you are an unaffected little monkey. To be her little masculine sex slave.

Who the fuck are you, fucking Jesus? Turn the other cheek and smile? Cause a woman must know that you can take her bitchiness? What the FUCK?

Let us be rational

But being angry is irrational, right.

You are not rational, you are fucking stupid. You ignore the reality that she is hurting you. Yes, in fact, your goal is – explicitly – to be able to take whatever she throws at you and shrug it off like a moron.

You ignore your pain and then you drown it in her sex to distract yourself from it.

Very indeed, only a weakling would emote and be hurt. A real man must be her tower of strength. A man does not beat women. Gentleman code and stuff. Or honor? Neo-masculinity? What is the right word for this?

Your chivalry and gentlemanliness or however you call it, it is just a fucking collectivistic slave doctrine, you stupid idiot. A high and bland ideal, an abomination like this disgusting black spot on humanity that is the Christian church.

Brainwashing to make you into a narcissistic and arrogant little prince whom other real men can look upon and nod their heads in affirmation.

Old insipid black and white movies of the good old times when men held open the doors for women, probably written and directed by gay men and closeted feminists. But those movies did impress mommy, did they not. Maybe even poppy. Mommy and poppy brought you up to be just like the nice man in tehveh, where everyone smiles madly, respects each other and plays their role.

The fucking artist

You see a woman and secretly, you just want to tell her how beautiful she is. But then she opens her legs and suddenly she is a dirty whore and you can not respect her. You act offended over the dark side of game. Oh come on, get over yourself. You are so fucking good and flawless I want to puke.

But then the bitches do not want you, oh. Bitches are bad, feminism has spoiled them. They only want those broken assholes who treat them bad. Yeah, you are so much better. You probably look at yourself in the mirror and smugly think you are a man who does the right thing.

Your super-ego is so great that you have to duck when you pass through doors, to not hurt it.

Ever wondered who you are trying to fit into the definition of man for? Yourself? Please.

What a vain little poser you are.

Proud of serving

What is a man? A guy with a stable job and income, career, good friends, warmth, kindness, a smile on his face, morals, the deluded search for truth, patriotism, the wish to die for his country and the churches pass to heaven in his back pocket? A guy whom everyone likes, without edges? A man with frame?

In other words, you are being everything that others could possibly want you to be. You are a disgusting little cog in the dire mechanics of a sexually frustrated civilization. But who are you really?

Know the purpose of that ideal? Of the nice guy as well as that of the stoic idiot who never cries?

It is there so that you take in all the pain without defending yourself. And on top of that, you are supposed to feel ashamed of being hurt at all. Just so that people will avoid saying something like “you are damaged” or “what is wrong with you?” Indeed, having problems is very shameful. Mommy needs a man who can take care of her; mommy can not be bothered by problems that you have.

Fucking bullshit propaganda to make you a nice servant to her whims and needs. Having problems and hurts means that you are an inefficient slave.

So you give up taking care of your own well-being to gain the right to take care of hers. If you are not a slave, what are you?

You are proud of that smug smile and perfect eye contact of yours and all the fucking show you put up to impress her. To make her part of your sphere of warmth or what-fucking-ever.

You act like you are not interested in her only so that she will be interested in you.

All in all, you give up expression of your self so that there becomes place for her in your life.

You are not fucking her. She is fucking you. You may be dominating her and throwing her on your bed, but you are still just doing it because you heard that that is what she wants. You are just being her obedient stud.

And my angry wisdom is all but lost on you, because you secretly really just want to fucking be a great man for her, because your sense of self belongs to all the women around you. And you are proud of it, you sad loser.

If I was a psychopath

Right, if I had not my past, her remarks would not hurt me. If I was a psychopath, I would not care.

But I fucking am not. My past is my past and if you tread on it, I will kick you.

Yes, I am hurt. Yes, I have problems. Yes, being a man without a regular sex life is devastating to my pride.

A real man does not care if he gets rejected? A real man does not care if she makes a condescending remark? A real man is above that? Well, I am not that. Not your fucking caricature of a real man.

No, I will not be a slave of my problems. But neither will I be acting as if they do not exist for any of you stupid bitches or pretending to be one of the flawless pretty boys, just because that is what you need.

Your flying car from the future may not be dependent on fossil fuel. My old shabby car is. The fossil fuel of respect.

No, I am not entitled to your respect. All I am saying is: Hurt me and I will hurt you back.

Because I need myself more than I need you.

Letting the pain flow through me? No, bitch, I throw it right back at ya.

Peace.

0 votes
  • Sooo does this mean you’re getting into pickup?

    • Haha. I know I will, brother. I need to solve some more personal issues, but I look forward to the day I start finally adressing that part of my life.

      • I found that the validation, as much as everyone says they, don’t need it can be a real turnaround point.

        • Yeah, that makes sense. I definitely do need it, but I am not desperate for it. I will punch a girl before letting her hurt me.

          • Micah Geni

            But the latter part is up to you. To get hurt or not. Some do try hard to get you hurt. But it is up to you to “grow” above those type of insult.

          • But do I want to grow above them? A part of me wants to get insulted to have a good reason to hurt them back.

          • Micah Geni

            A part ? Or is it all you have ? What about the other parts, who do not want to hurt them back. What are they ?

          • Of course it is not all.

  • Della

    Real interesting read, as I can relate to the anger and rage flowing from this article as I myself have struggled with balancing what I’m told a man should be and what I feel internally. I’ve always been very apprehensive towards the PUA scene, even after my great awakening and had become conscious of the bullshit that is modern day life. A lot of the activities you listed, learning a scripted set of lines or pretending to be uninterested to get her interested etc., have always seemed to be a form supplication towards women, instead of true seduction and romance. So I can understand your loathing for what I perceive from this post (please let me know if I’m misinterpreting), are weak men who play the role of mega alpha.

    I would have to argue your use if the word “Stoic”, implying that it is a the act of wearing a mask of strength when you’re truly hurting internally. Stoicism, at least in the sense of the ancient Greek and Roman philosophy, has always been about building more of a strong mental fortitude and not allowing negative life events and people destroy you.

    There is a great difference between being a pushover and being stoic, by simply allowing someone, whether it be a gf, wife, family member or stranger, walk all over you and pretend like it is not a huge deal, thinking it makes you more of a man (pushover).

    Or, being an individual who can persevere through mental abuse and physical affronts and not have your entire spiritual core corrupted by it. At the same time, being able to firmly stand up to the individual causing these pains and put an end to them before they escalate, without lashing out violently or irrationally (Stoic).

    Then again, these are just my opinions which can sometimes be like assholes…. numerous and shitty.

    • I like the quote from the movie ‘The People vs. Larry Flynt’: Well, opinions are like assholes, your Honor. Everybody’s got one.

      Thanks for the clarification about stoicism. I took the freedom to use the word largely because that was my uninformed interpretation and because it makes for a great heading this way.

      Your interpretation of my emotional world is quite fitting. Form supplication, yeah, that sums it up very nicely.

      What I am loathing is not so much weak men. Even strong men can be abused. What I am loathing is the selfless supplication to some kind of bullshit ideal of ‘real man’, be it from women or men even. I think that that makes you weak in the long run. And if it does not, it makes life unenjoyable and creates unnecessary suffering.

      • Della

        Agreed that blindly following any ideal or set of values before some deep introspection and seeing how it fits into your own life goals is counter productive and just lazy. Almost seems like a lot of guys are looking for the magic pill, like successful men are hard blue prints of how too make it: Eat x type of food, bang x amount of girls, get up at this time, write about this topic, invest your money here *poof* I’m a millionaire.

        Though there is no shame in doing some research into what has worked for others and then through trial and error seeing what works for you as well. All of human history has really just been one giant evolutionary game of trial and error. Some values and traditions stand the test of time while others fade into distant memory. While some need to desperately be dug up, dusted off and reapplied to modern culture.

        • Nicely said. To add to it, I promote to maximize one’s dependance on one’s intuition at all times; makes life flow like a darn river.

  • thordaddy

    And yet, IF one does not want to be a “real man” THEN he has a literal intellectual universe to justify and rationalize this mindset starting with his negative posture. But where the pathology lies is in lamenting the relativism of it all WHILE soundly rejecting any and all ABSOLUTE solution. What is the “mirror” on one’s Self in which one uses to correct pathological pathways? The “ego?” Those you walk amongst? Objective Supremacy, itself? What is your “mirror,” Tom? What “mirror” tells you, “Do not be a real man, Tom?”

    • My posture is quite okay, at least when I walk. At home I usually slouch in my chair and on my couch.

      The word relativism needs to be put in context here. While I as an individual do not value all things equally – one form of relativism – I acknowledge that value is relative to the observer.

      Yes, which mirror? That is indeed a good question. I have no answer, Thor. A man whom I trust, a role model. That is one option, but hardly a perfect one, as no man is perfect. That leaves intuition.

      • thordaddy

        Posture: a. An attitude or way of behaving, especially when adopted to have an effect on others: assumed a posture of angry defiance… dictionary.com

        NO male in his right mind wouid ever cop to not wanting to be a real man…

        Ergo, only a male in his wrong mind would publicly attest to not desiring to be a real man ASSUMING all are REALLY speaking about real men…

        Insert DECONSTRUCTION…

        Avert discussion of the above with a carefully crafted misinterpretation of “posture” and divert the dialogue back to the modern murkiness of real ANYTHING…

        I mean, if there are no real men then a case could be made for no real anything?

        • Thor, words are inherently flawed and never mean exactly the same thing.

          Take for instance the word ‘real’. Originally, it just meant ‘relating to things’. That is, relating to physical objects in physical reality. Now, what is a man? An adult male. By all means, I already am a real man, no matter what I do or say.

          • thordaddy

            That does not make sense, Tom… A “thing” INHERENTLY flawed is imperfect, but this is not equivalent to flawed in the manner you have ascribed to “words.”

            “Real man” is, in fact, the most precise articulation of a “man” who is real, ie., wholly man.

            BUT…

            Men are not born…

            And only raw materialists believe in male DEGRADING to “man” over an objectively probable time frame.

            In reality, MEN are PERCEIVED as such. Yet, not all perceptions are equal. Your “man” may be homo-sexual and his “man” may be metro-sexual and my man is white Supremacist.

            You say, “See, the Logos fails us… For we cannot possibly enscribe Man with mere words.”

            The failure is not the Logos…

            The failure is a lack of discipline in wielding the Logos.

  • “No, I will not be a slave of my problems. But neither will I be acting as if they do not exist for any of you stupid bitches or pretending to be one of the flawless pretty boys, just because that is what you need.”

    I think about that sometimes. Am I doing what I am doing because I think I have to, or because I want to? Luckily I have opportunities to do something completely out of the ordinary for me, and that reinforces the fact that I am doing what I want, and not the other way around.

    The girl I mentioned in a previous post, the 33 year old with the tramp stamp, I still have not hit it. We did go out and have a blast, and she gave me an absolutely amazing blowjob. This morning we went on a hike. She is very affectionate, and I have a good time with her. Better than the other girls I am with. I am still seeing my other girls and enjoying them as well, but she is at the forefront of my mind. I even told her she terrified me a bit, but that I was okay with it since I know it is inevitable that I will get got by another girl again. Deep down I know I will win, no matter how the situation turns out. That is some next level shit. The reason I am telling you all this is because you are right to not pretend. They will pick up on it anyways. Hide the fear, anger, etc… and they will smell it.

    Something I did not mention in my post is that women love emotions, it does not matter which emotions, they love them all the same. I cannot count how many times I have blown up on a bitch for stupid shit tests, and I still do. Enough of those times it turns into passion. Just today that girl said, “What makes you think I actually like you?” I was like, “Shut the fuck up with that bullshit, ‘what makes you think I actually like you’ I am not new to this fucking game. I know you like me, stop being stupid about it.” Other times I would brush off a shit test because it just did not matter. Another girl I was dating asked me what she would do if you slept with another guy, and all I said was, “Sure, let me know how that goes,” because I honestly did not give a fuck. I liked this girl too, but I know better than to think I can control a girls actions.

    I do not subscribe to a lot of red pill tactics for shit tests. I know they exist, and I respond to them as I desire to. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Either way I do not care, because they are not special. I can always get more.

    I am rambling now, but you are on the right track. Fuck them and their bullshit.

    • That is exactly what I am talking about, man. Just do as your gut tells you at any given moment. If a girl is not particularly important to me, I will not care much about her shit tests. With others, I will get angry. It also depends on the moment, whether I had a good day et cetera. And that is cool.

      As for doing it because you want to or because others want you to, I recommend meditating about that. Put aside the thought and just focus on the emotion and see what your mind brings up. One question I also like to ask myself is: What would be the quickest way to satisfy the need I am feeling? For instance, if all I want is female approval, I will quickly find out that the quickest – hypothetical – way to get it would be to have women all around me adore me and profess their wish to fuck me. If my goal is to actually have sex, the quickest way is to not care about approval and just go for it.

      • Micah Geni

        Depends on your feelings, soul and will. If your feelings are negative towards others, and your soul is also so, then your Will is crucial. Say you want to do something bad. That would be the paradox of the sado-macho. “I hurt others because I wish to be treated likewise”. Would you think those persons really do wish so. Or do they lack Will-Power. ?

        • I say that even cruelty is a gift of god and must be embraced. Willpower is something to use when you are being threatened, by law or morality. But the experiences of pain are real and some people seek them. Some as victims, some as perpetrators. When both meet, it happens as both had wanted it to happen. The drama is being perpetuated by both, because they both need it.

          • Micah Geni

            Its lazyness

          • Bullshit.

          • Micah Geni

            It is. Cognitive lazy, with low self-esteem. You jump straight to the worst-conclusion. Why is that one more likely than some reason you just forgot to think about ?

          • I do not see the connection here, sorry. You were making a point about willpower and now it is about worst conclusions and self-esteem.

          • Micah Geni

            When threatened, Id go by instincts. When not very motivated for soemthing, or unfamiliar with the positive potential it may bring, power of Will does matter. When threatened, and the use of Will ? What is that ? Do you have to power your will, to find a desire to avoid damage inflicted upon you ? Just curious. Gonna take a rest for now. Catch up later.

          • You already had many fights. I did not. Who knows, I may learn that i want to avoid them.

  • Smokingjacket

    Anger is not a singular emotion. Like a symphony it’s composed of many different parts that are reflected and amplified in each part of the orchestra. To conduct with verve and excellence you must feel intensely each chord and know how to register it with the musicians. If you fail to do this, either the composition or the orchestra will “direct you” and this is what happens with a person when they fail to examine and experience thoroughly the anger that’s with them. Anger can be positive, good,and cathartic for one’s spirit, but, you must know your own anger before you can channel and harness it for your own betterment.

    • Interesting. I reckon you are criticizing my composition here. I wish you had done it less abstractly.

      On the other hand, I like your style. And the metaphor is not a bad one. Anger comes from pain, fear, shame, suffering, sadness, injustice. Yeah, it takes some time to understand and incorporate it. I think that is only necessary insofar as you need to stand behind it and own it. If you do not understand it, you can not have a lot of boldness behind it. I think I am actually not doing so bad here.

      • Smokingjacket

        Good to hear that. I miss the ferocity of my own former boldness on occasions. It was like a brilliant, powerful mountain stream at your age.

        • Good to hear what?

          You must tell me about it some day.

          • Smokingjacket

            It might be a long day. Besides, like a game of Poker on a given night the cards get shuffled as they’re dealt on that occasion. Our paths will cross once more.

          • I am not sure I understand, but yeah, you are always welcome here.

          • Smokingjacket

            I don’t know why, but, I love the way you write. This is why I return to your site. Your writing is refreshingly honest and direct and you describe states that somehow resonate deeply somewhere within myself. This is an enigma that I need to resolve and your posts cast light, no matter how diffracted on this matter.

          • Diffracted, my ass. But thanks. Do let me know when you get to the core of it, I am curious.

          • Smokingjacket

            It is very diffracted on occasions and that’s precisely why it glistens so truly. I’m reading it. Your’re writing it. The relationship between both is different so don’t say my ass, even if you think you’re right. The minute you write something on a public website you open it and of course yourself up to different viewpoints, so accept this fact. As said, I really enjoy thinking about what you say here, but, I keep my thoughts on important issues that your posts might prompt to myself if you don’t mind.

          • I do not mind your viewpoint. I just want to understand it. I am tired of people telling me that my thinking is unclear without pointing out the issues they see with it. For sake of my sanity, I have to come to the conclusion that these people are not so clear about their thinking themselves.

            On the other hand, we have had some good discussions, so when you are seeing weaknesses in my writing, but not naming them, I am assuming that you choose not to – which pisses me off a little. because I want to react to your ideas.

            As for your personal issues: No, that is alright. Just share what you feel fine sharing.

          • Smokingjacket

            There’s no weakness in your writing. It’s brilliant the way it is, but, you must realize that we don’t all read the same words the same way- and that’s a good thing. By the way- do you ever sleep- it must be 3.00 am in Munich?

          • Okay. Thanks.

            It is actually 1:47. I usually go to sleep around 3. Till 2 p.m.

          • Smokingjacket

            Well, I’m an hour behind you. Don’t sleep as late as you, but, I guess you’ve better thoughts than I, and hence more sleep!

          • Now you are being way too humble. Actually: Are you mocking me, old man?

          • Smokingjacket

            I’m not that old kid! Jesus do you ever sleep!

          • Why, you look like 130. No? 115?

          • So, when you say diffracted, you consider your own perception as the prism, not mine? Or both?

            Incidentally, notice the similarity between the words prism and prison.

          • Smokingjacket

            Don’t get hung up on one verb I used. It makes perfect sense to my perspective on certain aspects of your thoughts . All human perceptions of reality are subject to impartial representations, yours no more than mine. That’s what we are and that’s how we learn more about our collective existence as sentient beings in this world.

            The similarity is not unrelated when you consider both pertain to a restriction in movement by a vector because of certain impediment?

          • Alright. I am not sure if you are bullshitting me, but I realize you can not do much to prove me wrong if you are not.

            I was thinking more of an analogy: Slave of a prison cell or slave of your way of perceiving.

          • Smokingjacket

            I don’t bullshit, especially with you. The analogy works equally well both ways. Enslavement is all in your mind. A man can be freer in prison than a man outside if he has the mind to be.

          • Especially with me? I think we shall start writing love letters.

          • Smokingjacket

            Haha. Get some sleep. Sweet dreams.

          • You too, darl.

          • Micah Geni

            Constructive – Ventilation isnt it ?

            Your recontructing your own ego, while building un- and concscoiusness. Refreshing. I hope you not act out apart from the writing. You may help other people too, in their self-awareness process.

          • I act out that which needs to be acted out. It is okay. I will only act it out with those who likewise seek it.

          • Micah Geni

            How can you tell what is good ?

            you talk about women and sex, yet you dont go out and try ? It is a learning process, also the good things. Try it 20 times, and if it never gave you anything, you probably were not with the right girl, or maybe it just wasnt a thing for you. If the latter, just move on. Try some other thing, that doesnt hurt anyone. Self-esteem issues ? Shouldnt have reasons for that. But lack of experience normally does give those irrational self-evaluations.

          • Easy. I only feel the need to act these things out with those that are receptive for it. With those who do not care for it, I simply feel nothing, so it will never happen.

            What do women and sex have to do with this discussion?

          • Micah Geni

            you

          • Well, then everything is about women and sex because I care about women and sex. Likewise, everything is about hamburgers, because I like hamburgers.

            This thread had nothing to do with women and sex, you are mixing up things.

          • Micah Geni

            This is not about any of those, your blog. It is about personal development. You must enjoy it, with all those good articles posted

          • I do not follow. How did we get to talking about my blog?

          • Micah Geni

            you do follow, you just are bit embarrased to talk about your positive sides. That you do also have a tiny soft piece in your heart :) We all do. Welcome

          • I already told you that your thinking seems a bit confused these days. If I were you, I would try to find a solution to that. Your cognitive leaps are quite annoying.

            But yeah, of course I am not a hundred percent asshole. I never claimed I was. I am simply enjoying these parts of myself because they were, well, underrepresented for a long time.

    • You were right. Meditation is clearing up my anger and it is starting to feel like a stream of liquid lead, about to engulf my heart and burn the world down. As you said, it can be crystal clear. The mere idea is mesmerizing.

  • Micah Geni

    Self-aware, but what do you feel ?

    Isolation can make a person appreciate small things in life. It is a sad fact. In addition, it does develop self-awareness.

    • What do I feel? Depends on the moment.

      All kinds of things.