Today, I took a first look at the magnificent Red Book by psychologist Carl Gustav Jung. In an introduction to his person, I found myself astonished by a description of his childhood experience with the church. It reflects my own feelings and intuitions about Christianity to a frightening degree.
Here is the part:
In his childhood, Jung experienced a number of visual hallucinations. He also appears to have had the capacity to evoke images voluntarily. In a seminar in 1935, he recalled a portrait of his maternal grandmother which he would look at as a boy until he “saw” his grandfather descending the stairs.
One sunny day, when Jung was twelve, he was traversing the Muensterplatz in Basel, admiring the sun shining on the newly restored glazed roof tiles of the cathedral. He then felt the approach of a terrible, sinful thought, which he pushed away. He was in a state of anguish for several days. Finally, after convincing himself that it was God who wanted him to think this thought, just as it had been God who wanted Adam and Eve to sin, he let himself contemplate it, and saw God on his throne unleashing an almighty turd on the cathedral. With this, Jung felt a sense of bliss and relief such as he had never experienced before. HE felt that it was an experience of the “direct living God, who stands omnipotent and free above the Bible and the Church.” He felt alone before God and that his real responsibility commenced then. He realized that it was precisely such a direct, immediate experience of the living God, who stands outside Church and Bible, that his father lacked.
This sense of election led to a final disillusionment with the Church on the occasion of his First Communion. He had been led to believe that this would be a great experience. Instead, nothing. He concluded: “For me, it was an absence of God and no religion. Church was a place to which I no longer could go. There was no life there, but death.”
This excerpt touches and moves me deeply and reflects my own beliefs, particularly that Christianity is a belief system of death – as mentioned here – and that God wanted Adam and Eve to sin – a logical consequence of I believe in. I will elaborate on this in a future article about free will.
How can you look good in front of god if not by being just the way he created you?
Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Thanks, Gustav, for one of the moments when it becomes a bit more clear what seems to be driving me mad.
What a magnificent mind at the age of twelve!
While we are at it: Why do the words moral and moron sound so similar?