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27.10.2015

Blue pill, red pill or acid?

I am a liar. I pretended to understand the red pill, but I did not. I spoke like a red pill dude, but I was none. But neither was I really blue pill. So what was I? I was a dude who wanted to belong, believe in something. Truth.

I did not only speak like a red pill dude, I also started to walk like one. Hold eye contact like one. Occassionally, talk to girls like one. Check out asses.

But I felt guilty. The guilt was eating me up. Is eating me up. There is always this voice in my head that is asking: But what if I am wrong? If I am wrong, I am not good. My god, what if I am not good?

When I talked to the initiated, I felt ashamed of the voices who were not convinced of the red pill. When I talk to normal people, I feel ashamed for wanting to believe in the red pill. Yes, I admit it. I am ruled by shame, shame of not being right. And in my head, there is a constant war of voices.

Who speaks confidently?

It must have started in school. People telling me I was smart. Or earlier, what do I know? I managed to be among the best at school. Approval, yay. When I was not the best, I felt worthless.

I became a programmer. I learned that if you look deep enough, you can find the underlying truth of everything and have complete understanding.

But people invented programming and computers. People did not invent life. So who has the book of rules?

Yet I felt that I should have the same clarity and certainty about life that I had about programming. Felt that people expected it.

But there is a problem: People keep contradicting each other and themselves.

It is maddening. I already wrote one article about my confusion.

I am a good pretender. I always pretended to know and accept the truth, deducing what others thought was true. I tried to find some common denominator of knowledge that all people who are right share. Sometimes I deluded myself into thinking I had it. When many people liked my comments or whatever.

But in my head, the voices kept fighting a battle. And I was too ashamed to admit that I really did not understand, really had so many open fucking questions.

In the end, how can I simply know the red pill is true? My only measure has been my wish to be on the side of the powerful men. But are they right? Are they good? Whatever that means. Yes, what does it mean?

You can write a convincing article, you can make a dramatic speech, you can scramble together some studies. But in the end, each side keeps cherry-picking whatever fits into the picture. The articles are not really very detailed, often cite no real research. A lot of it is just pamphlets – and my head protests.

In the end, I keep / kept being most convinced by whomever made the most convincing appearance. I know, it is meaningless. And yet my allegiance kept jumping between the pills, so to speak. I could literally watch my whole thought process and mindset change loyalties simply by whomever used the right rhetorics.

It drove me mad. It drives me mad. I feel out of control. I am confused. I am a fucking sheep, just following the loudest dude.

Acid to think clearly

I took LSD again. Half a blotter. No hallucinations, no extreme emotions, just a bit of clarity.

I use to compare the experience to lifting a sort of judgmental grid from all my perceptions, allowing me to rearrange and reinterpret them.

Not sure why it did not happen in the past, but this time I started to become extremely aware of – but not shocked by – all the contradictory mindsets I hold.

It never appeared to me.

It never appeared to me to actually allow myself to see all the cognitive dissonance in my head. I literally see a girl and my mind keeps jumping: Nice innocent thing versus cock-hungry bitch.

Exaggerating, of course, but you get my point.

These two ideas coexisted in my head, but I had never connected them or consciously pitted them against each other.

And there are so many of these contradictions. No wonder I regularly have headaches. There is a lifetime of unprocessed ideas in my head.

I think I literally started to think for myself for something like the first time in my real life.

I started to lightly and fascinatedly touch on all those open questions, question all my ideals and feelings without doing it too aggressively. In the past, due to my felt obligation to let myself be convinced of obvious truth, I had simply forced my thoughts into a certain direction, to win approval.

Not so this time. Acid took away the pressure. Like a dude in Peru once told me about magic mushrooms: You realize that your thoughts are not your own.

So I keep gently moving through all my thoughts and confusions. And from each question arise new ones.

And the dismaying and frightening conclusion of one day of this is that I do not know what to believe. More than that, I am not sure that there is any way I can ever be convinced of any truth as long as it pertains to judgment and morals.

Observe, do not judge

To say it bluntly, I think I came to the conclusion that absolute certainty is an illusion. A lie. An impossibility.

I allowed myself to admit that I am confused. And that there is no way I can ever find the definite answer. That I will always have to work with the best I have got. Worse even, I admitted that if there is a way to find the definite answer, I do neither know it nor know how to reach it. Nor what it means. And if somebody told me? Well, what would he tell me to believe him indiscriminately? I do not know.

And the least amount of absolute truth can I find in morals, in judgments. They are just abstractions for children, unfit for the variety of possible situations and the variety of possible decisions based on one’s personal desires. Look at the variety of game advice, from asshole to good looking loser to charming dude. Who says that your individual style is not completely different again?

All I can ever do is see patterns. Or listen to the patterns others observe. And yet the brain occasionally finds patterns that do not even exist.

And when you find enough proof that a particular abstraction or pattern is solid, you tend to make the mistake of fully commiting to it. Look at this bullshit, for instance. What reason is there to assume that atoms behave like planets? Absolutely none. And yet, they teach this in schools even today.

It is merely an analogy. A theory. An approximation. But it is not absolute truth. And tomorrow you may find evidence to the contrary. Will you be willing to let go? Just look at the miserable life of Johannes Kepler, one who grew up without a father like me. He was convinced of a sacred geometry of the cosmos. Based on what? On a clue. On his human need to see a pattern. He spent decades of his life to this dedication – which to his dismay, turned out to be false.

When you allow yourself to look at the world as it really is, so many clear-cut categorizations and prejudices simply cease to work. All the ideals become meaningless in their most extreme form.

Just to take politics as an example: People and their personalities are so fucking varied and yet everybody keeps searching for the one right way.

Dear manospherians, you claim not to believe in equality, and yet you seemingly confidently propose to know the right way for the whole society to work. The nuclear family and shit. Really? How can you confidently say that this is what everybody needs? How can you say that everybody will be happy if you force them into that scheme? Because you were? Or because you think you would have beenCan the superficial obedience to these rules really make people love each other? Or will humanity simply somehow bypass these rules to do what they really want, anyway?

The craziest in my eyes are the religious nuts. They are convinced of their fucking morals. But ask them: What is in it for me? And they have no answer. How the fuck can they be so convinced when they can not answer that simple question? And yet they demand your respect? For what exactly, blind fellowship?

I think it is the echo chamber effect. Grow up in an environment and see that shit reinforced all the time and it becomes truth.

What makes the truth true

But frankly, I think this does not quite satisfy as an explanation. I believe that the real answer is: It works for you.

If a particular belief system helps you getting laid constantly and makes you get what you want, you will adapt it without remorse or guilt, no matter how much somebody else may suffer under it.

And I think that is okay. It is honest.

The dishonest thing is the moralizing. Saying you do it because it is right.

Fuck that. You do it because it suits you.

And in the end, that is the only measure that will ever truly matter. To anyone.

Now I guess it is time for me to stop reading red pill articles and eventually start going out and getting some ass. So that I may become a believer.

That is what you will only need to answer, ever: How do I get what I want?

More precisely, even: What steps can I take towards getting what I want?

The black-white world

I understand the appeal of having a community of like-minded individuals.

But this straight cut beween blue and red pill? It is ridiculous. What is the red pill supposed to be? Who has it? Or is it just the preoccupation with girls and leftist nuts? And how can you say / know that it is right for everybody?

It reminds me of the way that niggers or bitches unite because they all suffer from the same thing, imagined or not.

But a common enemy does not make everybody your friend.

I think most reasonable people probably understand this. And yet I feel that there is a lot of fanboydom under all those gurus. They simply agree too much, too easily.

Sure, call it positivity. I think many are sheep, as I was. As I am.

Example: Victor Pride decides to get muscles. He figures out the best way to do it for himself. It may not be the best way for others, I am not sure, but he shares what he does, because it may work for others. People keep posting stuff like But Victor Pride said. So what if he said it? He gave you some idea, nutcase; it is on you to use or discard it. Do you think that Victor Pride talked to god to find the absolute truth?

But I understand the dilemma. Everybody says something different. Actually, it is more honest to ask this question explicitly than to keep dwelling on it in your own head. I am not sure what the best way is. How to tell? You kinda have to decide for yourself. Really.

Conclusion of the confusion

If you feel equally torn between the pills, take some LSD. Or magic mushrooms. Or do an Ayahuasca ceremony.

Scientology – Say No To Drugs – says that it is bad. They quote poor poor victims: They told me it would make my problems go away.

Well, no user of psychedelics will ever say that. It is ridiculous. This shit forces you to see your problems more than anything else. But that can be a good thing.

An acquaintance of mine also says that the stuff helps him think.

You should try it.

0 votes
  • thordaddy

    If the base assumption is a head equally divided between Perfection and radical autonomy (imperfection) then it’s a choice of competing wills and all subsequent consequences thereof… Reality can accommodate EITHER desire with the ordered consequences.

    • Well, define perfection then and make your arguments for it. You have not yet been able to convince me of your monogamic ideal. Why not? Because I want diversity and many sexual partners. I want Asians, too. Tell me why I should not want it. Tell me in a way that makes sense for me. Persuade me.

      • thordaddy

        Yes… “We” understand what you want, but “we” also understand what you don’t want and it just so happens to be the EXACT same thing… Radical autonomy and self-annihilation.

        The cognitive dissonance is rooted in your ultimate desire for degradation EVEN while your “ego” pal has you convinced of your desire to be whole. There is just a very straightforward and self-evident logic to the FACT that self-annihilation equals pathology, but then is embraced as “really living” so as to mentally transform such pathology into rational “truth.” So when you look at PUA (paint us azzholes) and “game” and recognize that those who you are supposedly “gaming” are actually female liberationists themselves and are more than willing to ALLOW YOU to believe you are successfully gaming when in fact you are being gamed for potential long term exploitation THEN the symbiotic regression becomes clearer. The ONLY true metric of the vaunted PUAers is ZERO bastards. Ergo, 100% mortality rate in their “game.” Think about it!

        So YOUR demand to persuade YOU is not a demand I give any credence to…

        IF you want to self-annihilate, you WILL.

        IF you want to be perfect, you WILL… But FIRST, you MUST BELIEVE in Perfection… You must immerse yourself in Perfection… You must put your mind around objective Supremacy… You must thoroughly scrub your mind of all the false equations wielded with relentless abandon by those who would have us confined to a Universal Equality… A total redundancy… A perpetual ground hog’s day… A life of rediscovering the same root pathology only to wake the next day to rediscover the same root pathology…

        Here you have this whole universe to observe and ask yourself “what is Perfection? Where is objective Supremacy? Can I really will all right? Can I from here on out take all the right action? Or am I destined for perpetual mistake and eventual annihilation?”

        • Interesting. But studying game is nothing I want to do forever. I want to fuck some chicks and then eventually consider meaningful relationships. I do not see why it has to be black and white.

          • thordaddy

            You do not “see” why it’s black and white???

            Where exactly is your gray area?

            Are you able to self-annihilate a little and still be a lot whole?

          • Well, if you say it that way…

            Yes, I think you can. Sometimes you have to do things you do not like, anyway.

            Besides, what you term self-annihilation is not necessarily that in my eyes and perception.

          • thordaddy

            Any act that either degrades the whole or prevents the whole from “materializing” is an act of self-annihilation. To reject this formulation is to simply seek “justification” in self-annihilation. Asking questions that boil down to nothing more than can I destroy part of the whole and still remain fully intact is just the kind of subliminal distraction that keep most of sheepwalkers wistfully ignorant of your desire for self-annihilation. And because they largely share your fantastical reality, there is a mutual benefit that goes without saying. The “right” to self-annihilate is now the most prized “right” of the “white” male. There is no more “cherished right” known to the high IQ “white” male…

            Go ahead, take a shot at a “right” more “cherished?”

          • Hey, that is a good phrasing, I like it.

            Still, you do not get to define what constitutes an act of self-annihilation on a generalistic level. Also, making errors and learning from them is part of the process of life. To simply go ‘the right way’ is to reject something that I do not even know is wrong yet. You may have been there, done that, and say it is self-annihilatory. I have not. And where I have, I reject to go back.

          • thordaddy

            I don’t need to define self-annihilating acts… They are just there as the degradation and decimation of the individual. These acts define themselves and “we” only ignore, perceive or perceive to ignore. These self-annihilating acts are also ALREADY ritualized and take the form of religion (Islam), ideology (communism) and commerce (socialism) or a bundle of all three (national socialism). These self-annihilating acts ARE ALREADY existing liberationist movements such as “feminism” and MGTOW. These self-annihilating acts are also already the in-your-face “rights” of the “white” liberal… Abortion, homosexuality, assimilationist miscegenation, euthanasia…

            And of course there is the old, “I WANT TO LEARN the hard way…” The, I want to do something stupid, fall on my face and then show the world how valiant I am to bounce back up from my stupid action.

            This ONLY WORKS IF one is of low IQ…

            If one is of high IQ then the sheer stupidity of the above thought process becomes readily apparent AND THE REAL DESIRE to gamble with one’s life is clarified… To really risk not getting up after that last “stupid” action is the stimulation one can feel… The indication of how far one has sunk into the abyss… A MINDFUL self-annihilator.

          • That has nothing to do with High IQ. That has to do with not knowing whether an action will have the outcome that thordaddy says it will. It has to do with testing whether thordaddy is a truth teller or a fraud.

            High IQ is to learn from idiocy, not to avoid it.

            Although I admit that I used to make just the error you mentioned. Which, by your definition, would make me low IQ. So maybe you are barking at the wrong tree, after all.

          • thordaddy

            No man… Low IQs CANNOT act high IQ to get benefits… But high IQ CAN CERTAINLY ACT low IQ to get benefits… And IF THE GENERAL environment is trending towards “greater” mediocrity THEN the ABILITY of the high IQ TO ACT low IQ for their own personal benefit INCREASES while the low IQ deludes himself into thinking he is smarter than he really is ONLY exacerbating the silliness of his act.

            YOU CANNOT PONDER a single self-annihilating act? You no such “thing” anywhere at anytime? You cannot ponder the human-parasite as perpetuating self-annihilator… A “thing” that will feed off the whole until the whole dies thereby annihilating its Self?

          • Good point.

            Human parasite? I do not follow.

            Of course I can ponder such an act. For instance, chasing a woman that is like my mother. Chasing a woman that does not want me for the virtue of her not wanting me. That would be self-annihilating.

          • thordaddy

            The mindset of the separatist is diametrically opposed to the mindset of the integrationist. The separatist is SELF-sufficient… Whole. The integrationist is WHOLLY DEPENDENT on the WHOLE. Thus, a separatist, being one seeking a detachment from the whole is a threat to the life of integrationist and is branded a “racist,” ie., passive liberal-speak for white Supremacist. At stake is white man’s God-ordained free will. A denial of our God-given right to strive towards Supremacy IS A MANDATE TO self-annihilate. So it is separation, eradication or annihilation of the human-parasites… THE ONES SOMEHOW inexplicably IN CONTROL of the WHOLE???

          • thordaddy

            And it should go without equal saying that the most cherished right of the high IQ white man SHOULD BE his right to strive towards Supremacy… But it ABSOLUTELY needs saying because of what the mass of “whites,” both high and low IQ, REALLY BELIEVE.

          • Well, I prefer intuition over Supremacy. Because I know what my intuition tells me. I do not know what Supremacy is, other than something you claim it to be. What if I meet another man tomorrow who says that Supremacy is polygamy? How will I tell who of you two is right, if not by means of my intuition? I can not. Thus, even lacking an alternative, I trust my intuition which says that you are wrong in some respects.

          • thordaddy

            But clearly you can intuite “polygamy” and then contemplate whether such a way of being will make you more whole or degrade you?

            PUA… Which is, clinically-speaking, advocation of homo-sexuality, ie., instant (read:self) sexual gratification, CANNOT profit by making you whole. “It” must take something from you OF VALUE to profit. PUA, to be intellectually coherent must approve of polygamy as it represents a subtle variation of homo-sexuality. If “game” teaches you of a hypergamous female then polygamy is getting your lifeblood drained by multiple vampires and exacerbating the ire of the masses left to masturbation and hard homo-sexuality.

          • The polygamy that I have in mind will make me more whole, that is my intuition.

            I am not a fan of PUA. Have read the book by Strauss. Mystery is obviously as big a psychological wreck as I used to be. No way I am going back there.

            What I want is innocent and curious exploration. Obviously, I want to avoid emotional vampires in the long term. Maybe I will need to have one or two such experiences to learn it is not worth it even for sex. Who knows.

            I think my bullshit-female radar is pretty well attuned now. When I see such a woman, I put her in her place or shoulder-check her on the street. No interest in fucking her.

          • thordaddy

            That’s because you haven’t given one second’s thought to how many will NOW want to put a hole in you. This world doesn’t just ALLOW you to make yourself whole at will. This reality will try and PUT HOLES IN YOU no matter what you think. And if your thinking basically boils down to a war on man then what do you know?

            You haven’t given SERIOUS thought to polygamous society even with Islam on your doorstep…

            Then again, you DESIRE to learn the hard way.

            But should others bear the consequences as collateral damage?

          • How do I know that you are not a person who wants to put holes in me and keep me from being whole? Tell me. How do I judge? Maybe you are right. But if you are, only you know it. Tell me how I can know that you are right.

          • thordaddy

            I’ve already told you my intent.

            I seek converts to white Supremacy and the high IQ “white” male self-annihilator is my target market.

          • You can claim whatever you want.

          • thordaddy

            Can’t we all?

            And I only make one claim.

            You ALREADY KNEW before I got here that you are not to be a white Supremacist…

            And yet, your whole mindset went dormant on the issue…

            Why? How? You question so many things BUT NOT the one “truth” that is near universal… Goes FOR ALL OF US “white” male and white men… The one “truth” that permeates all public discourse, creeps through all private spheres… You never sought fit to rebel against? You never sought fit to connect the dots of your “cultivation” as derived and forthwith aimed at this very “goal?” To create of this small, innocent white boy an anti-white Supremacist?

            This is has never tossed your mind when your mind is literally floating in its oceans?

          • Actually, no. Race never mattered to me, either way. The only thing I can say is that I used to have a weird feeling of guilt towards people of other cultures. But then again, I had painful feelings towards practically every single human being, so it did not stand out as anything special.

          • thordaddy

            Race never mattered to you because you ALWAYS hated your father (or need to tell yourself that you do) and this STILL reverberates even now decades later… How you WILL NOT claim some architectural authorship at THIS STAGE is a question worth answering.

            All that you have really indicated is that the zeitgeist got to you very early through avenues not of your burden. And this somehow will not infuriate you contrary to your “nature?”

            Fascinating.

          • Firstly, I never hated my father consciously. That is a very recent development. Especially after my first useful visit on Hawaii, I had a lot of respect for him.

            Secondly, of course it ‘infuriates’ me. But it is not my focus. I do not find it that important, because I do not see how it dampens the quality of my life. As opposed to that, feminism is something that has quite an effect on something that is important to me, sexuality.

          • thordaddy

            Are race and sexuality mutually exclusive are they part and parcel? Or race AND sexuality, “it” does “not-matter.”

          • thordaddy

            And hating your father subconsciously only points to a better probability of being brainwashed early on…

          • That is true.

          • Micah Geni

            A couple of point I think daddy has.

            There is some pressure on mingling races, and in particular for the whites. Privileges are given to immigrants, like “have as many children you desire. No need for prevention, condoms or money. We (taxpayers) shall pay for your 5 little sweet children, that you cannot afford”.
            White man has to pay everything, even if his girl brings the kid with her, back to her old country. A woman was on the Interpol-list for kidnapping their common child. “Cannot detect her”. Yet our court system had ordered that the father, continued to pay for the child, despite the fact that Interpol could supposively not find the mother. The bank-system surely knew hot to detect where she was “hiding”.

            And that is just one example. Then you ask them: So why should we mingle the races ? “Because it is good” or “Because you must”.. Red flag. Bullshit-detector on.

            So why should we ? I mean. Sure it is fine, if your beloved is from another race, but why is there any problem if she happens to be of the same race ?

            Follow the money. Mingling reduced the feeling of belonging. Nationality.
            Who profits from it ? The global capitalists does.
            Are there any races out there in the world, who doesnt cry for inter-racial breeding ? Yeah sure. Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Jews.. quite a lot. So why “Europeans” ?

            I dont know actually. One can only explain it by different “conspiracies”.

          • thordaddy

            The answer is becoming increasingly clear… Only “white man” wholeheartedly embraces Perfection as “operating paradigm.” So you had the Russian and his Orthodox… The German-Anglo and his Protestantism… And the Spaniard, Irish, Italian, French, etc. with Catholicism… All three rooted in a belief in objective Supremacy… All three falling under the umbrella of “white.” The proxy war must envelope these collectives, deracinate them and through the imposition of radical sexual autonomy assimilate these genetic profiles out of existence.

          • Micah Geni

            Well.. There are many white psychopaths though. Greedy fckers. Me, me, me, me.

            But my explanation is the culture, the “matrix”. Not the genes. You’d change the matrix, people will change. We are spellbound by the current “psychopathic grid”.

            I bet 2 euroes, that Bitcoin is an inside-job. Someone tries to create a better Matrix. Paradigm-shift.
            And maybe it isnt, but someone has at least shown, that it can be done

          • thordaddy

            It’s internecine… Those that “preach” relativism do so to obscure this fact. It is in the “white man” to embrace BOTH Perfection AND radical autonomy wholeheartedly (sometimes simultaneously) and so “we” are a head divided… A perpetual civil war amongst our “kind.” And our radically autonomous side is annihilating that side desirous of Perfection and the result couldn’t be more predictable.

          • Micah Geni

            Kind of takes a little “psychopatic mind” to bother to engage in that shit, wouldnt you agree ?

          • thordaddy

            Absolutely… Which only speaks to the separation of a certain mass of whites from all others… But those others absolutely abhor the idea… Self-annihilatingly so???

          • Micah Geni

            yes it is. And I my try to give some alternative matrices to them, but personally i rather meet a sweet girl from Iran, and have kids with her :)

            That is just propability theory. If someone else come around or not, one shall see

          • Right. What about Muslims? They believe in god, too. They too strive towards their vision of perfection.

          • thordaddy

            Actually, Muslims worship a radically autonomous god… A god that will do anything. They put this god over Perfection. So in fact, Muskims subordinate Perfection to Total Transgression.

          • How so?

          • Good points.

            I do not see this in the light of protest. It just seems logical to me to consider some mingling if the woman is right. I have no objections being with a white woman, either. It really does not matter much to me.

            And the genetical benefits of mingling are undeniable. I think. I heard. Who knows.

          • Micah Geni

            I think “someone” believes that psychopathy is in the genes. and the genes dominate “white population”

            I believe it is primarly the culture. But I have met a few “borderline bitches” :D

            Psychopathy + Intelligence, can be tricky.

          • Not sure what you are trying to say.

          • Micah Geni

            I forgive you Tom Sawyer. :)

          • Micah Geni

            To rephrase it, bluntly..

            Stupid shit like “radical feminism”, “gaypride” and such, can only make sense for a “twisted mind”. In a non-twisted culture, people would just shake their heads and wonder what the fuck they were trying to achieve.

            As I always said, “I dont mind gay people. Some are cool, some arent. I just dont get why they have to be more gay in public then when I talk and meet them 1 on 1. “. They ones I like to chat with, the deeper minded branch, arent “gaypride”, despite being homosexuals

          • Ah. Yeah, well. I had not had too much contact with gays, anyway. At least that is what I believe.

          • What?

          • thordaddy

            Excuse me… Is your race… Your line of fathers… Mutually excluded from your sexuality? Isn’t your father’s sexual selection and your father’s father’s sexual selection (all the way back) IN FACT “why” you are Tom Arrow? Are your future sexual selections going to be a trivial “matter” to any child you create that might get a mother like your own?

            Does race AND sexuality not matter??? Do these “things” not have material presence and effect IN CONJUNCTION with each other… Part and parcel?

          • I seriously do not understand your language in large parts.

            Of course my selection matters. Psychologically. What does that have to do with race? Do you mean an Asian could not be a good mother to my child?

            My father chose my mother because she was ‘smart’. What an idiot. My creation was an accident, anyway. He never wanted kids.

          • thordaddy

            You said that you don’t care about race (your line of fathers), but you do care about sexuality (which can’t really be homo-sexuality, but must be mate selection and potential fatherhood). You write this with a straight “pen” and clearly cannot “see” an indestructible relationship where a mutual exclusivity inexplicably exists in your mind.

            It’s not about a good Asian mother, but that half “Asian” self-annihilator/half “white” self-annihilator child born of a self-annihilating “union” where race (his father) doesn’t matter and his sexuality (relation to female/mother) is all that matters.

          • So your point is that an Asian girl that would choose me would have to be defective and I am defective because I choose her for NOT being white?

          • thordaddy

            Deracination is pathological and whites are not the only ones susceptible. Miscegenation is also potentially pathological if not bolstered by an imperial intent.

          • I see it not as pathological. Variety ensures survival in evolution. The strictest racism would limit you to incest.

          • thordaddy

            You don’t “see” that your indifference to intuiting your “kind” in the dustbin of history is pathological?

            You don’t “see” that smashing Asian females just for fun and having no intent of “injecting” them with your dominance is like declaring all out war on their fathers because there is a “white” nigger in the house?

            Homo-sexuality is a war on Man…

            What if this whole time, you were the real enemy against reaching manhood?

          • Naturally I am my own enemy these days. After all, I learned from those who were my enemies in the past.

            Sorry, I do not see how it is a war on their fathers. I see it as a meeting of two genetic lines. Nothing offensive about that. If their fathers feel that way, though, well, maybe I would choose to respect it and move on.

            Having fun or more, that depends on how much I like her.

            Besides, you are exaggerating the thing. I am not exclusively interested in Asians. It is just a thing I fantasize about. They seem to have nice little hairy pussies.

            I may never even choose to actually pursue one.

          • thordaddy

            Lol… Never get stuck in the bushes… It’s hard to leave!

          • Haha. Did not know you had humor, Thor.

          • And the problems of my mother are quite insufficiently expressed through the idea of polygamy.

          • Micah Geni

            This world doesn’t just ALLOW you to make yourself whole at will. This
            reality will try and PUT HOLES IN YOU no matter what you think

            Kind of true. Then again, the disagreeing number of that doctrine, is increasingly growing. So why not just change the fakin matrix ?

          • thordaddy

            The “matrix” is another false meme perpetrated by high IQ radical “white” autonomists in order to keep their lesser IQ, but more racialized white brethren bedazzled by complex systems.

            Our game is really only akin to tic tac toe… Step towards the abyss… Step back from the abyss… Strive towards Supremacy. It’s 1-2-3. There is no matrix.

          • Micah Geni

            There is always a matrix. Some call it “running system”. others call it “ideology”.

            The matrix is what runs the world, in any given time. It is a creation of our. Money is for instance, a creation. We allow it to have value. We create a system based on that illusion. Aka, a matrix

          • thordaddy

            I was using “matrix” in the Neoreactionary use of the word. I would agree that we operate inside a complex system akin to a matrix. I would only quibble with whether that means the bulk of us have to perpetually enact complex moves. I would say not. “Game” would claim one can simply walk through complex systems. That fact in and of itself signifies true gamer.

        • Micah Geni

          So when you look at PUA (paint us azzholes) and “game” and recognize
          that those who you are supposedly “gaming” are actually female
          liberationists themselves and are more than willing to ALLOW YOU to
          believe you are successfully gaming when in fact you are being gamed for
          potential long term exploitation THEN the symbiotic regression becomes
          clearer

          I’ve had the same realization

  • Excellent piece Tom.

    When I was first introduced to red pill all I could think was, “Yeah, I know most of this shit.” But I learned a bit more, and my love/sex/whatever life really reached another level. However, I never became immersed in it. I did not much of what you intend to do, figured it out for myself. There is a lot of complication surrounding the red pill, and I think it is much simpler than what most people think. That is why I write very little about it.

    I do not entirely agree with this statement, “I believe that the real answer is: It works for you.” This is dangerous. I know many poor fellows who had the same sentiments, and their lives are in the shit because they thought the same exact thing. There may not be any 100% truths out there, but 75% is good enough to keep you in the green.

    • Thanks.

      Why is it dangerous?

      • Because getting caught up in the the whole “it works for you, and I am not you, therefore is does not work for me” will predispose you to ignore sound advice. Like a lot of the advice I have given many people.

        • That actually is a very real problem I am having. And yet I do not think that simply blindly listening to advice is the solution. May need some middle ground.

          • Fine. Take what someone else says, where you are at, and half step it somewhere in the middle. At least something is changing, and you are not making a super dramatic shift to your life based on blind faith in someone or something else.

            Here is a great example.

            I have a good friend who is good-looking, smart, funny, interesting, and just a good fucking time. Out of all my friends, I have the most fun with him. However, he was blue pill to the extreme. Now, for most of his adult life, I left him to his own devices. But one day, he broke up with his LTR of 5 years, and had a total shift in mindset, at least he tried.

            He got all up in the red pill. Shit he introduced me to it, although I already inherently knew quite a bit of it. In fact, he told me the reason he got so hooked on it in the first place was based off how I acted with women, and the success I had with them. Makes sense. Proof of theory and all that. But the conditioning was still ingrained.

            After a couple months of getting out there, gaming chicks, trying to fuck, he met this one girl, and caught a bad case of oneitis. I told him to stop wasting all his time with this one girl, and to go out and get some plates. “Dude, that just is not me.” Okay, I let him be.

            Fast forward a year, and the shit hits the fan. Pregnancy scare, co-dependency, and a whole year NOT spent honing in on his game and building his value. I tore him up for about an hour when we were driving across country about what a pussy he still is, and that if he does not make it a point to stop being such, I was going to be less inclined to hang out with him. Environment has a huge impact on who a person is, and I have built myself up too much to be taken down by him, or anyone else.

            The moral of the story is this.

            Gaming is about keeping your skills with women fresh. They are all different, but all the the same. I.e. Flirting and building attraction is universal among them. I do not game different girls differently on purpose, but through the act of constantly gaming, I instinctively adjust on the fly.

            When I told him to spin plates, I did so for three reasons. The first is keeping the focus on himself. The second is keeping that ability fresh. The third is to get a good baseline for what is out there, so IF he does commit to a LTR, she will be worth it. I have done it once, and it was awesome. We are only not together anymore because I had to move away for the Navy.

            In that year, he broke up with the girl 5-6 times. Pathetic. He would go out there and game for a month or two, not see any success, give up, and go crawling back to her. When he got her in the first place, the thought of him banging more than one girl at a time was not “his thing.” Fine. He could have just kept gaming girls as a meet me in the middle, just to keep the practice up. Shit, even when I was with me one girl, I still always flirted and games girls.

            Bottom line is, the shit is not easy. I think it was Krauser that I read gamed like 1000 girls before he finally got on. Holy shit! He was blissfully unaware of the pain that is required in order to achieve what he, and any man really wants, sexual selectivity. I am 30, and been burning after it for 15 years. I am just now getting to that point. I know that I am far better off than many of my male peers. It works for me, but I had to work in order for it to work for me.

          • Thanks for that comprehensive advice. It sounds very reasonable.

            I think I am past oneitis for good. It really was just my mother and I have destroyed whatever was left of that relationship. In past times, I was very inclined to seek out women who treat me just as bad as my mother. Never worked, never got anything out of it. These days, I see these toxic women like with a sixth sense and the best thing I can think of is shouldercheck them out of my way.

            Can not tell you why I still do not start out with game. There is still something in the back of my head that bugs me. A thing that would likely make me unable to even enjoy any success in that field.

            Love your positive attitude, though. 1-2 months, no success, end -> pussy. I like that.

            And yes, this constant breaking up and reuniting is pathetic. I witnessed it myself a couple of times. Your friend may like this resource, which greatly helped me:
            http://gettinbetter.com/needlove.html

            On the other hand, I would not let any man pressure me into it. If you were to tell me that you do not want to have contact because of my lack of game – which I could understand – I would simply let you go. Too much pain trying to suck up to anybody, as you can surely understand.

            At the moment, I do not obsess over this shit. I trust my intuition and I know I will start gaming just at the right time. If not, I will not die or sink into any dark hole. That is a thing of the past. Now, I make my own rules. I do no longer try to be alpha. Now, whatever I do automatically is alpha. Even if it is nothing at all.

          • “whatever I do automatically is alpha. Even if it is nothing at all.” Boom. Be your own man. Live by your own rules. That is about as alpha as you can get. I have 4 plates right now, and banging three of them. I have went on 3 dates with the one who is not, she is 32 with a tramp stamp. Strangely, I like her. I am breaking all the “rules” but as with you, I am trusting my intuition on this one.

            God Speed Tom.

            Until next time,
            Andrew

          • I think some time next year, I may want to start game. Perhaps I will ask you to be a coach for me. In the sense of some regular chats and making sure I stay true to my goals and that. Talk about doubts and stuff. Do not feel like I want to be completely alone in it, at least in the beginning.

            Take care!

          • Micah Geni

            Must be the slut-attitude of her. Similarities attracts :)

          • Micah! Behave!

          • thordaddy

            But this is… Not much different than playing with fire… So what are the preps for being burnt and engulfed in the flashback?

            And there is also the deadening effect of an enforced “safe sex…” That odd, secular milieu where “technologically”-derived restrictions on the total sexual experience is “seen” as an advance to that experience.

            So the reality is that if a man is not trying to impregnate the woman beneath him then such male is really only engaged in homo-sexuality*, ie., self-gratification.

            *homo=same=exact same=self