Alright, I had promised you self-respect and values. And what I gave you was a story that probably left you a bit sick to the stomach. Why the fuck would I propose such a behavior? Well, on another note, why exactly did Tom act the way he did?
From apoint of view, Tom’s behavior is really horrible. Yet, what I promised you was not an example on how to seduce people to be your friends and lovers. I didn’t promise a tutorial on . Neither did I promise a tutorial on how to be calm and thoughtful.
Tom is not a hero with unshakeable self-control. He is reactive. He’s no PUA and he gets sex only because Cora simply feels down and he’s the best one around.
Instead, I promised you something that transcends emotions and states: self-respect and values.
Tom has self-respect. He does not expect anyone to save him.
Tom: I am privileged. Guess what it is like to not love most people, to find them boring. If you don’t allow me to be poor, poor in friendship, I am dependent on alms. Do these people feel with me when I have no love? No, they call me cold, worthless and exclude me. And they are right. I must not drag them down for they will lose themselves.
Tom is pathetic, a loser. Yet he refuses to bow down. He does not need to bow down because he expects no one to take the weight off his shoulders.
Cora: You are such a dumb, unattractive person. Be glad about what you had. Nobody will love you.
Tom: I don’t need this kind of love.
Think about the way you would expect Tom to react to Cora’s statement. You have seen it in a thousand movies. He is supposed to lower his head and be sad. He is supposed to receive your pity.. In fact, it’s the first thing that comes to mind, isn’t it? His reaction, instead, seems arrogant. But why? Because he refuses to let an insult disable him? Think about the implication. ? Why? Humility? Isn’t that humiliating? If you are a loser, stay one? If you lack a skill, you must not talk and ask questions? If you are a beginner, you are not to strive for greatness?
Sure, being a loser hurts. But Tom had merely been living a lie before. He had paid with subjugation for the illusion of his dark side so that people would save him from it by feeding his own lie: That the dark didn’t exist.. He had hidden
You just want to persuade people that you love ’em so much that they ought to love you back.
– Leland, Citizen Kane
Tom had never loved those people, he had merely wanted to be loved by them. Now, Tom can of course improve in terms ofand and being . But that’s just not who he is now. Here’s a thought process for you:
- I’m acting like an ass. People don’t like me.
- I want people to like me.
- But they didn’t really like me before, either. They liked my compliance.
- But being compliant had crushed my soul while this merely hurts. This is a decision to be the monster I am. Earlier, I was merely in denial of myself.
Yes, I’m sure there are people out there, men, who have real consistent empathy and warmth. I sometimes do. I wish I did more often. I really do.
Tom believes in some values for a self-respecting man.and . Since Tom is basically me, read
Tom takes somebody’s smartphone and shatters it.
Tom: I’ll pay for the damage – because I can!
Values give him direction. His decisions are based on his values. He believes in Capitalism, but more he believes in selfishness.
He believes in a free market and minimalist state. He recognizes that this is a system enforced in order to promote behavior that will lead people to success. He supports the system, yet acts against it’s rules. Because the choice he would make for society has nothing to do with the choice he makes for himself in the moment.
He accepts the consequences of his actions: prosecution, bad reputation, loss of friends and acquaintance, enemies, getting beaten up. He engages in a fight that he might lose.
I’m not merely discussing Tom’s values. I’m discussing the worth of values. Being a man who follows principles gives you a consistent direction in life. Choose your values based on the philosophy you adopt and the person you want to be.
Tom knows the possible consequences of his actions; it is not clearly noticeable in the play, but since I wrote the piece, that is my background to it. It is. Will he with such a behavior? Yes. Will he always decide to act this way? No. He merely did it because he was prepared to lose the friendship and benevolence of everybody at that place. He would obviously not do this with any of his business partners. He merely indulged in his anger because he could afford it. By his own standards – he decided what was most important to him.
Feel like shit?
I say values, yet you probably feel like shit after reading this. Well, that’s what I promised you. Look back up to the top of part 1. I said that I would give you something that is independent of emotions. And I did. Now, the interesting questions are: ? ? And how can you develop a ? And ?
The thing about decisions of course is:
You have to take into account every possible consequence of the decision. And then you can make decisions based on what is important to you. You can chose to act like a gentleman if it genuinely makes you happy and gets you everything you want. Do not accept guilt if being a gentleman doesn’t make you happy. I mean you can’t force yourself to be happy from it, can you? Maybe you can develop into a man who will happily be a gentleman, but who knows. You should never make a decision simply to be good or alpha, whatever that means. . Consider every possible decision.
One more thing: Unlike psychopaths, this piece of text makes me somewhat sick, too.
If you make a decision to be an asshole, be rational. This feeling is a part of the equation, not independent of it. If you cannot handle the emotional consequences of an action, simply don’t act that way. Do not assume that you should be able to feel good about some behavior.