I grew up with a mother that smothered me. Somewhere I read the parable that it is much like forcing someone’s head down with a foot while that person tries to stand up. It was for quite some time that I had trouble understanding men’s wishes for feminine women, because I had always wished myself a stronger mother – a wish that would translate into my desires for girls.
It has taken me my whole life until now to understand that there possibly wasn’t so much wrong with my mother. My grandmother even more may have been the epitome of a caring, feminine woman in her youth. There was always something wrong with my mother, hinted at by a mental illness that required psychiatric medication. But my grandmother was the kind of grandmother you read about in fairy tales: selfless, caring, a great cook.
Yet all those great qualities came at a price I never understood.
These women made me a slave
Both my mother and my grandmother had no discipline and skill in dealing with a rambunctious little boy. When I was still small,if they didn’t like my behavior. That became impractical at some point and I can only speculate that that must have been the point where they started to use guilt against me. If I behaved in a way they didn’t like, they would punish me by showing me how hurt they were. By calling me selfish.
Just like your dad.
And there’s all the trouble: Was something I did wrong? Well, think, how did it make my mother feel?
Lately, I have been thinking about what it means to be a slave on a very basic level. There is only one logical conclusion: To always wonder what (your) master thinks of your actions or how he feels about them.
The foundation stone for me becoming a slave was laid. And almost to this day, I have hated my mother for making me a slave. Foolishly.
Masculinity and femininity
My grandmother told me about a day when my grandfather took her to a motorcycle tour. Her father had protested, but heck if a man doesn’t find a way to have some fun. So they went down the serpentines and sure enough ran into a patch of oil, slipped and my grandmother’s leg got all bruised and bloody. Sometime later, they got married.
He died when I was still a baby, almost at the same time when her only son died.
I think she doesn’t miss my grandfather as much as she misses her dead son. She almost never talks about him and when I asked about him, she told me he had been a rough man, building engines and racing with motorboats.
Say what you will about whom she loves most, a son or grandson could to her never be what a man could. A leader who will be tough with her and run the family towards a plausible future. And indeed,, so it seemed to me.
I did meet one girl in my life who was very feminine and interested in me. She was from Russia or the Ukraine, something like that. I wasn’t interested, but I remember the day we met as she had wanted to. She came with a beautiful pink light dress, some very alluring perfume and she very gently and submissively touched me during our time together.
Physically, she aroused me like an aphrodisiac, but my mind told a different story.
Back then, her behavior made me sick. I didn’t want to see another stupid weak woman. I wanted some smart woman with whom I could talk. I wanted someone strong. You can imagine how I would have made a good feminist.
Yet it is clear what I needed without knowing it: I wanted a leader myself. A father.
You can’t have the cake and eat it, too
As I am starting to understand more about relationships with men and women, it becomes blatantly clear to me why feminine women appeal to strong men.
Out of a slave mentality I often asked:? It never occurred to me that the question was wrong. That my whole way of thinking was wrong. Because I was a slave, and still partly am. I never learned to be satisfied with one simple question: ? Do I want to accept this girl’s sexual offering as a sign of , only meant to satisfy me?
But my point here is not to explain slave mentality, that’s bound to be more complicated.
My point is that women have been reared by generations to serve men. Their mindset, their way of thinking simply has to be based on how well they can serve others, whatever that means. Their genes have been selected for altruism.
Why does a woman look you in the eye and, full of conviction, say that you should care about others’ feelings? Because men wanted women to serve them and make them feel good. And for that, they needed women to have these values. They needed women to be convinced that they should care for their men, for only then would women choose to serve their men from free will.
Men have wanted women to beand therefore have molded their women’s minds to be minds of slaves.
And that’s okay.
But it is obvious that having anhas to be universal for a slave. A slave will argue within the frame of a slave mindset and the master has to be willing to tolerate that if he wants a slave. He must put up with the mindset he needs her to adopt.
It’s time to stop hating the mother. And irrational women. They need to be, because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be good slaves.
We men – our fathers – have made women this way, for a reason.
Yet men have not foreseen the consequences of a slave mindset spreading amongst men who grew up without anyone to teach them how to be a master, not a slave.
Your mother cannot be hated
Your mother cannot be hated. Because a slave can impossibly teach you how to be a master. If a slave knew how to make a master, she wouldn’t be a slave in the first place.
Your mother cannot be hated. Because the things you want in a woman would be unthinkable if she were not a slave.
Your mother cannot be hated. It’s a conflict to hate her, because how can you reconcile it with the fact that in between impossible drama, you did like the way she expertly took care of you?
The smothering of a mother is what she is meant to do. You can’t convince her that it’s wrong, she’s programmed to do it and in some older times, she may have had a happy life that way.
About dumb girls
The fool’s conclusion is to demand to change women into confident, self-reliant people. To abandon slavery.
But the fool doesn’t see the value of everything in face of something he never had: a father. While a mother is meant to do everything for the men in her life, a father is meant to challenge and harden a boy. A father is there to teach his son how to be a master.
It may not be apparent, but to be a master, you have to think like a master in the first place. You need to have the morality and the mindset of a master. A father may not know this in theory, but a boy would learn from observation, imitation and adaptation to a fathers demands.
Women are not irrational. Their values are perfect – for slaves. And as long as a slave has a good master, these values make her perfectly happy and satisfied. It’s ridiculous to fight or even hate women for the very way of thinking you want them to have. Just don’t expect them to have the right kind of thinking to understand the problems of a master.
Don’t want them to be narcissistic? Hell, be glad they are. A narcissist cares about nothing more than about what others think of her. Although there comes in a bit of irony when a narcissist starts .
You are a slave
Remember when you tried to imitate not caring about a girl so that she would be convinced you didn’t. You are a slave. But it’s not any woman’s fault.
Yes, women or feminine men made you into slave. Because it’s the only thing they know how to be.
Find a leader. Become a master. Don’t hate.