A place for a


50 shades of a oneitis – meet Christian “Nice Guy” Grey

This is a movie review of “Fifty Shades of Grey” and a great study on the wicked way women want men to be.

How many women have lived here? – Fifteen. – That’s a lot of women. And it’s a lot to believe, too. Christian Grey, self-proclaimed people’s person, looks away in annoyance and shame when he sees a confident guy make out with Ana’s friend.

E. L. James’s so-called dominant is a bit like me, the perfectly controllable covert narcissist. On first sight, Christian Grey is an absolute alpha, desirable and intimidating. But Fifty Shares of Grey was written by an obese woman who doesn’t feel worthy of – if entitled to – such a man, so she needed to castrate Christian by making him obsess over Ana. James conceived a bland feministic narrative that ostensibly exposes the sickness of man’s sexual aggression, yet unwittingly demonstrates the uncompassionate cruelty of a spoiled girl’s fantasy. Oh, well, it’s just entertainment and a harmless fantasy. Wrong. Everything has a meaning.

A man as a pet

The figure of Christian Grey demonstrates everything that is wrong with female egalitarianism. Anastasia’s lover is an impossible cripple that can only exist in the mind of a woman who thinks that the whole world exists to instantly serve her needs.

Big-time CEO Christian Grey – for no apparent reason – falls in love with stuck-up wallflower Anastasia on first sight. From there on, he follows her around like a dog, politely negotiating a contract that will make her his submissive. Do I need to say anything more about the author’s lack of understanding for the reality of dominance and submission?

Nonetheless, James’s character has everything a woman finds sexy in a man: muscle and stone hard confidence.

Christian is in a very real way Anastasia’s sex slave. He is helplessly dependent on her and the only positive qualities he possesses exist to augment his virility.

At the core of this stupidity lies the impossible separation between substance and appearance. Christian Grey is a weak-minded, desperate and needy man, but he somehow manages to walk straight, keep eye-contact and talk with a firm and calm voice. Every man knows that it is unthinkable to exude the confidence of a self-respecting man while acting like a wimp.

Dishonest moralizing

This is the interesting part. Why exactly does Christian Grey want to do kinky stuff with Ana? To the author, there can only be one explanation: He is a broken man, ashamed of his secret desires, running from a dark past.

Anastasia is the morally superior of the two. She wants an equal, happy and loving relationship. This is her ultimate goal and she repeatedly asks Christian why he can’t accept that, which causes him to lose frame. It’s just who I am!

Christian Grey, like a covert narcissist, is grandiosely selfless. He fights hunger and poverty in the world and in the beginning even announces that he has to let Anastasia go. She is too good for him. How pathetic. But it is a nice homage to the astucious ending of Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray. Also, it serves as the tiny grain of good that Ana sees in Christian.

Anastasia’s wish to somehow save Christian is the purported reason for her to endure the pain and denigration he puts her through. This of course is a mindless rationalization and justification for the author’s own sex slave fantasy that I demonstrated above. James simply needs Christian’s suggested depravity to justify her own. Only in the guise of a victim can she enjoy her own shamefaced sexuality without being judged.

That’s the kind of man women like James want you to be: Full of sexual aggression, yet a marionette controlled by intense and intolerable shame for the very same thing they desire in you. A man hated for a facet of the quality he is loved for. A perfect confused slave.

You can’t deny reality

I am an easily aroused man, but Fifty Shades of Grey failed to get me honestly hard even once. The profound lack of apprehension and subsequent excitement serves as a proof for the author’s lack of self-awareness and honest self-evaluation.

Fifty Shades of Grey is a boring porn movie for James. The whole plot revolves around Anastasia getting her needs satisfied without any challenge:

  • Undivided and constant attention and supply of sex from an alpha man. Christian is always there to serve and please her; usually, she rejects him. Power.
  • Getting her own way immediately, e.g. having Christian sleep with her in one bed after he announces that he never does that. Right at the beginning of the movie.
  • Moral superiority. Anastasia doesn’t have to question herself even once during the movie. She’s the gatekeeper of her vagina and sometimes allows perverted manchild Christian to “dominate” her.

This may work in a book. Read one chapter each night and finger yourself to sleep. But a movie needs build-up.

Stylistic ineptitude

Fifty Shades of Grey is a formalistic, cowardly prude and politically correct movie.

Inexperienced director Sam Taylor-Johnson doesn’t demonstrate any meaningful understanding of dramaturgy. Potentially meaningful moments of intimate excitement are devalued by the fact that sex happens early on in the film, multiple times, destroying any kind of apprehension. This makes the progression of the movie as exciting as a business meeting, which coincidentally is the essence of what is happening: Christian Grey tries to persuade the lead character to sign a business contract which will allow him to hurt her in his playroom.

When Christian Grey first touches Anastasia, he says: I do not make love. I fuck. Hard. The following sex scene could not possibly be more flowery – kisses, caresses, slow and deep movements.

After the third time of gentle undressing one starts to wonder: Does the filmmaker actually think I’m still excited after having seen the nude actors quite often enough?

Add to the boredom that the soundtrack during sex scenes consists of lounge music with mellow cello and violin layers that would seem corny even in a romantic comedy. This is, in fact, the reason that even the first sex scene is almost unable to arouse. Even the harder scenes seem relatively gentle. For being a movie about deviant sex, Fifty Shades of Grey fails miserably to elicit any form of sexual anticipation and curiosity, far less manages to break rules. It’s just the little amount of kinky that society can take with a smirk: Oh, look how dirty we are, mehehe.


Man’s true wish for a woman’s submission is one that is full of respect for feminine nature and free of shame. He is aroused by her submission.

A woman is not aroused by a man’s submission, but still wants power over him. Again, the separation between substance and appearance is the key. She wants a man who looks and acts manly, but is her pawn for security. In real life, these are two different men. In Fifty Shades of Grey, the impossible cripple of Christian Grey must serve both ends. But Christian’s manly appearance can’t fool the subconscious – his actions betray him and make it impossible for the viewer to feel excitement.

The few moments when Anastasia actually submits, it doesn’t work. She is the mature woman who agrees to let a horny boy beat her, only to reprimand him for the bad deed. While enjoying it. Disgusting.

Fifty Shades of Grey is a porn movie for attention-whores, special snowflakes and women with nonreflective helper syndrome. Maybe that’s 95%? Guess it depends on whom you ask. The movie incorporates the exact kind of sexual objectification that it accuses Mr. Grey of. And it does it so covertly that the film superficially still serves the feminist anti-patriarchical agenda.

0 votes