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12.03.2015

When women say: Show your weakness

The best trick of the devil was … you know it, don’t you? His best trick was to invent language to manipulate men. His second best trick was to make them believe in their own integrity and rationality.

I will be writing a lot about language and the way it shapes our thinking. Ever since my Ayahuasca retreat I have been firmly convinced that words are anchors inside our minds to limit our thinking and control us.

Today’s issue is one about the statement: Show your weakness.

Express thyself

Men’s testosterone amounts for a certain detachment from the expression of their emotions and their release. If you don’t believe this, listen to the perspective of Griffin Hansbury, a born woman who turned into a man with testosterone replacement therapy. Fast forward to 15 minutes.

Women naturally like to release their emotions and indulge in them. To them, it must seem like men are fighting themselves, but it’s just the way we are built. Notice I’m only talking about lack of expression here, not about suppression, which is not the same.

When a woman says that you shouldn’t hide your weaknesses, she plays a double trick on your mind.

The first part of the message is that you should express your emotions. Which in and of itself is hard to do and can cause guilt if you never had a male role model who initiated you and explained your body to you. The woman may actually make you believe that you are actively suppressing something – even if this isn’t true. Quite a great confusion technique.

But far more insidious is the second part of the message. The statement “Show your weakness” subconsciously creates the association: Feelings = Weaknesses.

Women don’t hide their love of confidence. Be a weakling and they lose interest immediately. But now the very source of your strength and potential confidence, your emotional base, is associated with weakness. And you are supposed to show it; or, even more heinous, not hide it – they have a right to know, after all.

This is a double-bind, a combination of two or more conflicting messages:

  1. Show me that you are confident.
  2. Admit that you are weak.

Since you are tricked into believing that the same emotions that would otherwise be a basis for strength and potential confidence are now your weakness, you start feeling shame for your emotions and possibly even acting overly manly and avoiding anything that challenges your confidence, actually repressing your emotions. Because a real man wouldn’t feel weakness after all – err, emotions.

You end up in a mental mindset where you are doing exactly what you are accused of doing: Repressing your emotions which you have accepted as weakness.

Emotional authority

Eventually the woman will demand that the man shows his weakness, so that she can assuage it with her femininity. Since the man has come to believe that his emotions are his weakness, he can’t deny that he is weak.

The man either refuses, feeling like a guilty liar, or finally surrenders. Wooed by the woman’s sexuality, he finally admits his weakness and hopes for her understanding, which she generously gives from her position of power; the man so accepts her emotional authority. Now being in a very suggestible position of real perceived weakness, he is open to accept the woman’s love as a medication for his imagined ailment. Thus, the woman binds him.

And finally, with the woman’s acceptance, he can reconnect with the emotions that now once more serve as a basis of strength. With the only difference that the woman now tolerates his secret and, were she to leave him, would withdraw her acceptance of his weakness, leaving him incapable to feel strong until the suggestion wears off. After all, what other woman could he expect to accept his weakness like this one did? He would need to repress it again, torturing himself.

Isn’t this a fantastic trick? And women probably don’t even understand why they are doing this. It’s automatic behavior, passed down through the generations.

And it’s plausibly deniable, too: After all, the woman encouraged you to show your weakness. Also, she didn’t say you need to be confident – after all, you don’t have to be her man, do you. So you will look like a fool if you say that she made you suppress it in the first place.

Conclusion

Let’s recapitulate the lesson by translating from covert suggestion to overt language:

  • Covert: Show your weaknesses.
  • Overt: You are feeling something you aren’t showing. These feelings are weaknesses. Since you are not showing it, you are repressing it. I cannot respect a man who represses his weaknesses.

Variants of the same theme are:

  • Why are you wearing a mask?
  • Why don’t you smile more?
  • Don’t act so tough. Be authentic.
  • It is strength to show weakness. How nonsensical.

In the end, you may never have been weak. You were just made to believe you are. An imagined ailment. How could you then not accept the addictive and all-healing oxytocin-endorphin-cocktail that a lewdly beautiful girl offers you.

The beauty of a woman makes it all too easy to accept her emotional authority and moral judgment over your emotions, only to then seek her approval of the way you feel.

Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey is a perfect example: Tough looking guy, with the intent to fuck her hard. Yet deeply ashamed and almost begging her to be his submissive.

Any stories, guys? I’m ears.

1 vote
  • Mikke Musen

    That is when I start to lose interest. “Accept me for all my imperfections, but let me work on yours”. Lol. Tell them to hit the gym, that their ass is getting sloppy. “Show your testo! sweetheart. I know you have it in you, do to something else than ice-cream and soap-operas”.

    Thank Jesus not all women are like that

  • Wald

    Sounds like women have a way of turning men into emotional hypochondriacs.

    • Double binds are fascinating stuff. I am convinced that ‘free will’ is a double bind.