Whom am I calling an asshole? A person who doesn’t care what I think about him. What do I mean by doesn’t care? The person is not emotionally affected by it. It’s unfair to call these great people assholes, but they can take it.
There is a special kind of comfort about being around invulnerable people that appeals especially to otherwise insecure or careful people. Like me.
I have 2 friends. One of whom is about my wavelength, maybe a bit less secure if he isn’t drunk. The other one is invulnerable.. Guess what. Especially if you are used to tread lightly around people, it’s most satisfying to suddenly find yourself in the company of a person who simply won’t be offended. Indeed, this person will say things you always think but never dare to speak. You will feel like the world is suddenly okay around him.
He will say things that may offend you, naturally. But you will know that he wouldn’t even think about doing that in order to actually throw you down. Not simply out of. His mind is in a place where no desire exists to harm. He doesn’t , like I sometimes do. He simply doesn’t even think about doing it. Again, you will know it.
You will know it because of the immediacy of his manner. Look at this speech of Obama on the Connecticut school shooting. Notice how he carefully weighs his words, looks down on his notes and the whole thing is kinda mechanical.
Now imagine spitting out yourin that way. The words really won’t matter because everybody will think: What’s wrong with this guy?
Social interaction can be quite simple and relaxed if you have nothing to hide and nodesire to .
I used to think that people were comfortable around me when I was a nice guy. And in a way, they were. They were nice to me in return. They sometimes came to me when they had trouble and needed advice or somebody to listen.
But it’s a different kind of comfort. That kind of comfort is a business transaction. It requires effort on both sides. To be nice, I would weigh my words, however eloquently, not to step on somebody’s toes. This would be appreciated and returned in the same manner. But really, did you ever feel comfortable in such a situation?
The comfort received by an asshole is a gift. You don’t need to do anything to earn it. It just is.
Now, if you are invulnerable yourself and notice a person acting nice, you will just feel like something is off. You will wonder why they are doing that. What possible reason could there be not to. You may not really care and just think that the person is weird, but anyhow lovable.
If you are insecure yourself, on the other hand, other insecure people will be almost intolerable to you. No one will take the lead. Awkward silences, stunted dialogue.
Women usually try to be very nice. It’s exhausting to be nice.
Wonder why women don’t talk to you in a certain way? Well, do you talk to them in that certain way? Are you even?
Now, I could talk about self-worth but I always found it sort of abstract.
Umm, so I’m just to tell myself I’m great? But I’m pathetic, how does that make sense?
I’m also working on a technique to.
Tell me about the invulnerable friends and lovers in your life. Are you an asshole? Do you want to be one? What does asshole mean to you?