When you type “narcissist” into Google, you don’t find accounts of compassion towards people who live in hell. You find articles on how to expose, destroy and get away from these people. And that’s okay, I don’t want to whine. The stigma is hard for me to tolerate and if you can’t understand that, you probably aren’t a narcissist. Huh, lucky you. A place where the is much more preferable, for instance the sphere of the arts.
The stigma is justified, though, since the traits of a narcissist really are hard to tolerate and even more because a narcissist. I often crave to be in a girls embrace to fill a sense of emptiness, but that’s not a wish for intimacy; it’s anything but. , but the . In this example, the imagined reward of love is the , I am a man, and a superiority compared to everyone who is not.
Non-sexual compassion from women in real life I usually perceive as degrading.
I am most often a covert narcissist. Think of a nice guy; shy and unassertive, yet jealous and passive-aggressive. Compare this to the image of an overt narcissist you may have. Been making out with a girl and doing well? The one guy from the group staring at you as if you were ? Despite the fact that he’s the last person she’d want to make out with? That’s me. All the while my mind constructs this idea: “I pity her. It’s sad for her that she doesn’t see how happy she could be with me and it breaks my heart.”
Recognize the grandiosity now?
Sounds like the characterization of a lunatic, doesn’t it. Imagine my surprise when I. Every cell in my body protests against identifying with such a piece of shit of a person. Incidentally, the unwillingness to face reality is what first made the narcissist become what he is. But at least the overt narcissist often gets his way; the covert narcissist will more usually be depressed and lack motivation. A covert narcissist doesn’t deal with fear; he deals with the shame of even than that.
If you are reading this and are a narcissist yourself, you will probably think: “What a piece of shit. I don’t want anything to do with him.” If you are a confident person, you will probably think: “Well, alright, you were smart enough to figure this out. So what’cha gonna do about it?”
I used to surround myself with people who were, in my perception,. It soothed my mind, but my grandiosity was/is a nonetheless. Often these people who would regard themselves as intellectual. They wouldn’t . Part of growing is to let go of such anchors and trying to find ones way into the sphere of grown up men. Though the mind keeps wondering whether it isn’t quite , whether one even has the slightest chance to be or . Whether . Shouldn’t I be ? Well, in a way, that’s what I’m doing now, by writing.
I know progress can be made. Think of it, narcissism isn’t some form of curse. Thinking about it in terms of stigma is pointless. Why? Well, because that will only have you try to overplay the symptoms; and acting is, in a way, the thing that makes you a narcissist. Also, psychology – at least the bits on Google – only does so much to aid you.
The main problem for the good-willed narcissist is that the biggest bits about narcissism to be found are symptomatic and empiric in nature. They do little to help him understand his problem. Neither do they really offer solutions.
Let me illustrate.
Narcissists are cold, shallow and lack empathy. Reading that, I instinctively feel the need to prove that this isn’t true. Note theI don’t want to change. I simply don’t want to suffer the disadvantages of my current state, which contains being viewed as a flawed human being.
Now if that doesn’t point to.
In a way, I believe it takes a narcissist to understand a narcissist, because unhealthy narcissism is possibly aand most people have not experienced being a child in a grown-up body.
Leave the realms of the internet and you will also find positive masculine material like the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, where narcissism is identified simply as a so-called of the Divine Child archetype:
The followers of Carl Jung, however, view this Divine Child differently. They do not see it in largely pathological terms. Jungians believe that the Divine Child is a vital aspect of the Archetypal Self.
So the grandiosity in itself isn’t bad. But it isn’t sufficient in itself. It is a tool. I am working on way to.
As for real achievment. There is fantastic advice to be found on sites like Danger & Play. Never mind Mike is not too keen about narcissists – who is? I don’t like them myself. Ever heard something along the lines that women despise each other? And that women are like children? Guess what, dear fellow covert narcissists – we are like children and women. Let’s quietly take pride in that for a minute, since . And despise each other.
But sites like Danger & Play are directed towards people who have a basic amount of discipline. The authors of those sites don’t know the perspective of not even being capable or willing to grasp the reality of rational arguments or the necessity to invest work for a skill, since they have usually outgrown that too long ago to remember.
That’s why I am writing. Not simply as another fitness &blog for confident and rational men. But as a place for everyone who wants to find their way into that world, but feels overwhelmed. Everyone who has trouble . Because I have been there and I still am.
. If you have trouble even accepting him as a decent human being for some of the things he says, I highly recommend you try to stick around.
There are some key themes that keep coming back to me that I will further investigate and write about, like:and , , , , and , , and .