A place for a

20.02.2017

Arguments are power plays

When somebody is in competition to another, it is not so much whether he is actually better that counts.

It is whether the voices that most people listen to judge his performance as better.

The “critics’ consensus”. The consensus of the voices that most people think are reasonable and informed. Whatever that means, right?

When you trust a source that says “Trump totally owned Hillary, that bitch”, then that is the truth.

When you trust a source that says “Hillary is the rightful winner, Trump only tricked himself into winning”, then that is the truth.

But it’s much more apparent when there is no actual competition rules, like in a presidency.

In a debate.

Take a public debate. Most people afterwards will gravitate towards sources that proclaim that their preferred debater “won” or “totally burned” the other one.

In a debate there is no objective winner. What counts is not so much whether someone has actually won, but whether you can convince people that some particular part of the debate marked a participant’s victory.

And suddenly, after the critic says it, “it becomes obvious”. Well, why wasn’t it obvious before the critic or “expert” said it?

Continue reading “Arguments are power plays

14.02.2017

A vision from a weird kind of hell …

You are in a big prom hall. You hear beautiful fairy tale songs from your childhood. Everyone seems in ecstasy and full of joy. Your grandparents are around you and you remember being with them while you were small. And the almost Christmaslike innocent kitsch music fills the room with childlike wonder.

Now a group of men walk in. They carry axes and swords. They start killing and ripping apart all your loved ones.

If this was a normal avantgarde movie, that in itself would be provocative enough. The music would now switch to some weird horror music.

But not in hell. No.

In hell, the innocent childlike music keeps playing, lulling you into feelings of comfort and joy. And at the same time you see the horror before your eyes … and since you are so nicely conditioned to be hypnotized by beautiful music and let it dictate your judgment and mood ….

Continue reading “A vision from a weird kind of hell …

19.01.2017

The cruelty of man and the inherent hypocrisy of “morals”

Man is not meek nor does man fear his own cruelty. But he fears that if he admitted his own cruelty, he would validate the cruelty of others, which would put him in danger.

Thus hiding his own cruelty he convinces others that he is meek, thus winning their trust and resources.

Many who pretend they are meek then so find together as a community.

Thus community is something born entirely out of selfish interests. Pretending to be meek is the best way – at least in our society that I know – to ensure safety of the self. Selfish satisfaction.

And when one stops pretending, he is shunned. Not because he is ‘worse’ than the others. But because someone else who doesn’t feel obliged to pretend is an inherent danger to the self.

Ironically, you can not ‘explain’ to that person why he should be pretending. So what you do is – you unleash your own beast on that non-pretender. And he ‘learns’ that the pretense is better. And on the surface you may say to that person ‘You have been bad and this is your punishment.’ But that’s only the surface. The real communication is through pain and that one doesn’t lie. It says: I am a beast and I will keep hurting you until you do as I wish you to do.

Unfortunately this contradiction between verbal and non-verbal communication leads to madness. Classical double bind. It creates a disconnect between the mind and the body. And the result is what we all know as ‘hypocrisy’. It is a man whose mind doesn’t understand his body and whose body doesn’t understand his mind.

I really never understood why people thought ‘altruism’ was not selfish…

23.12.2016

We don’t live in a rape culture – we live in something far worse (?)

Some people say we live in a “rape culture”

Know what we really live in? A SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

Modern people get high on shocks in the SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

People like to get shocked by what X or Z did or how that person in video Y ACTUALLY DARED to do M and how NOBODY DID ANYTHING about J and how S is so fucking L and how TERRIBLE U was and how OMG THEY CAN’T BELIEVE what happened to K and they like to BE LITERALLY SHAKING FROM THE EVENTS IN G

This is why we live in a SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

When we see something with multiple possible explanations we automatically assume the most shocking and terrible one

Why? Because we live in a SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

We like the high of getting shocked and we like the anger rage indignation sadness moral superiority righteousness devastation and desire for revenge we can share and wallow in with our fellow “citizens”

And who profits in the end? The ones who promise us to stop all that evil evil!

Which is ironic because we dont really want the evil evil to stop – we are much too addicted to being shocked – if there was nothing to be shocked about wed rather invent something to be shocked about than to not be shocked

That’s because we live in a SHOCK CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!§”§$%

Continue reading “We don’t live in a rape culture – we live in something far worse (?)

15.12.2016

Beauty and Vanity (Or: “Look at those beautiful lips!”, or: Is beauty circular reasoning?)

I’m starting to see what they mean by vanity and narcissism.

This unbearable flood of ‘portrait photographers’ doing fancy and yet totally predictable pictures of … you guessed right, usually women. And then they pat each other on their fleshy shoulders and say ‘Wow! Beautiful!’ and blah blah. And what’s beautiful? The soft skin? That’s not even real but photoshopped ‘in just the right amount! Well done!’. But even if it was, dig deeper. What is skin? It’s not some mysterious ungraspable thing. It’s a part of an organism. It’s some weird kind of tissue that’s totally susceptible to age, decay, rot, burn, being destroyed etc.

Like wistful children these photographers get attached to and worship the ephemeral state of female fertility. How pathetic. And it’s not even fertility they cherish. It’s the superficial symptom of fertility, so called ‘beauty’.

Continue reading “Beauty and Vanity (Or: “Look at those beautiful lips!”, or: Is beauty circular reasoning?)

02.12.2016

How the need for validation can hijack our passions

When we first had Latin at school, 7th grade or so, I absolutely loved it. I ate that shit up. All others were like Meh, but I devoured it. Latin homework was always the thing I looked forward to doing. I learned all the vocabulary and delved into the grammar. The subject was utterly fascinating to me.

Predictably, I got very good grades. I was by far the best student in Latin. I was so good that when we had a translation exam, I wrote two different, ehm, let’s call them interpretations and passed one around secretly for the others to copy, which led to a funny situation once or twice, because the interpretations I passed around were always my second choices and not the ideal translations.

Now, here’s a short overview over the grade system in Germany. We have grades ranging from 1 to 6, 1 being the best. They are titled like this:

  1. Very Good
  2. Good
  3. Satisfactory
  4. Sufficient
  5. Lacking
  6. Insufficient

You usually need at least a 4 on average to pass the school year. In Latin, I always had a stellar 1.

Now, I was generally a good student and by the end of that year, I was proposed to change to a different school that would be more challenging.

I accepted.

Continue reading “How the need for validation can hijack our passions

23.11.2016

Tech News: Don’t post audio of yourself online

Adobe has announced a so-called revolution in audio editing which, according to Adobe’s presentation, allows the operator to automatedly analyze a speaker’s voice and resynthesize it to say any arbitrary thing.

Here is, once more, the link to the presentation, including a presentation on video:

The speaker proclaimed that Adobe was making sure to have built-in measures against abuse, but if this technology is possible, we can be sure the government and probably many media outlets already have it and have none of the built-in watermarking to protect against abuse, although I am sure the public version of the software will have such “safe-guards” built in.

According to the presenter in the linked video, the piece of software needs no more than 20 minutes of a speaker’s voice to create convincing results.

So, know that from this point onward (and very likely for the last few years) you can no longer fully trust audio recordings of any kind.

Continue reading “Tech News: Don’t post audio of yourself online

21.11.2016

Roosh V banned me from Return of Kings after 2 years of commenting

Return of Kings is a great site. It has mostly good articles and I’ve been a regular commenter for about 2 years, give or take. It may have been a little less, but I can’t think of any quick way to check. After an estimated 12k of comments I left there (and about 9500 upvotes I got), I think it’s fair to call myself a regular there. I wasn’t a top dog by any means, as you can guess if you know my content. But I got to knew the other regulars there and they got to know me and I have had many interesting conversations with them, I think that’s a fair assessment. I also would say that I was mostly supportive of the general content and by no means a total troll, as I am sure most other commenters would agree.

The more disappointed was I when I got banned from commenting on ROK yesterday.

Here’s what happened.

Continue reading “Roosh V banned me from Return of Kings after 2 years of commenting

01.11.2016

I am considering closing my Facebook account and blog

I have written a lot of stuff on this blog that was … too honest. I did not do much to conceal my identity. I posted photographs of myself. I wrote stuff that could be very easily used against me, in ways that I don’t need to explain to you.

Blog has not gotten much love from me recently, I posted most stuff on my Facebook page.

All the while I was doing this, I was driven by a rage. A rage to tell what is on my mind, a rage that made me blindly hate those who want me to shut up or use it against me. Just come, motherfuckers, I thought. But my experience has shown me I do not have the psychic or financial power to defend myself against those who don’t wish me well. I wish I had that power, I really do. But it’s a fight in which I have everything to lose and little to win, aside from a defiant bird flipped at the forces that be.

I suppose some stuff is best kept for locker room talk. Hell, my stuff isn’t even suited for that. I loved reading from those who can relate to my stories. I loved the honest exchange. But I am starting to ask myself if the price I may have to pay for it is not too high. My paranoia aside, there are people out there who have the means and power to go after people who post or say controversial stuff.

But neither do I feel I can really keep writing this blog without speaking my mind. It would feel like a lie. All or nothing. Or is that childish? I don’t know, it’s just how I feel. I’d rather be completely silent than to have to pretend. Rather be alone with my misery than to pretend I am not miserable. Or angry. Or whatever. Anything that people can’t accept.

Maybe there’s stuff we have to deal with on our own. Not stuff that is shared. Kinda sad idea. That in the end, I would bow down to this damning game of pretending and playing nice, of keeping up this ludicrous idea of a peaceful civilization. That friendship can only go so deep and the only person who really ever knows you is yourself.

Maybe I can become a comedian and say all this stuff without people getting nervous, because they think I’m not being serious.

Maybe I can become powerful enough so that nobody will be able to do shit. And those who will, I will crush them badly enough so that they won’t come at me again. But that’s not reality and likely will never be.

What a weird world.

Continue reading “I am considering closing my Facebook account and blog

28.10.2016

Women complain about the male ego, but they are the reason it exists

The male ego.

Why do men have greater egos?

Because men are expected to shut up about their pain. When they open up about such things, the typical response is “suck it up crybaby”.

And I guess that’s all cool and shit. But don’t go about complaining men have big egos when they learn from small on to hide their feelings as if they were some dirty secrets.

Men have big egos because that’s what is expected of them. And not just because of patriarchy. At least as big – if not bigger – a component are women who expect men to be strong and impenetrable and take care of them while sacrificing their own needs. They keep throwing shit tests at men who display weakness, and using men to their own advantage when they sense they can do this. Thanks to their ability to “empathize”.

In fact, I dare say every woman even reading this post will feel a repulsion to even such a limited amount of openness and “weakness”. Makes sense, as she is evolved to crave for a protector and shit, right.

But think of it … when even a post like this – or a real life equivalent – can repulse a woman from considering a man attractive or lovable – saying this as a matter of fact, not to cry for sympathy -, or use it as cannon fodder for her manipulations …

Well then don’t fucking complain about the male ego, because that’s basically what you’re asking for.

Matter of fact, I think women dislike the male ego precisely because it makes the man wisely close up towards women about his emotional world. Women crave to know stuff about people so that they can use it against them … so they naturally want men to let their guards down. It gives them power.

So … let’s celebrate the male ego. It is a fine protection against the harpies. And as for being open and honest: That’s what locker room talk is there for.